Change
by Laroucelle
Summary: A lot can change in one year, that's what I, Kyle broflovski just realised and things don't always change for the better. Story about Kyle if he happened to move away again and return after a year, only to find himself stuck at the bottom. Warning: Boy Love in later chapters, some cursing here and there, typos etc / Kyman and other pairings. High School Fic.
1. Back home

**Author's Note: Mkay, so here's the thing, this story is going to be Kyman, but.. What about the other pairings? I want some suggestions. Thanks! : )**

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I just arrived home where I had grown up, South Park. The neighbourhood looks the same as ever, but I'm nervous to meet my friends again. I haven't stayed in contact with either of them, due to a few problems that occurred right after we moved away.

This might be stupid of me to think, but I'm starting to think that I'm not allowed to leave this place. The first time our family moved away, which was to San Francisco, we almost died- and this time was no different. It was a miracle we even survived the whole year there. Thank god I managed to convince my dad at the last minute to move back to South Park. I wonder if my parents really are that stupid or if they actually are trying to commit suicide every other day.

Today is monday, but my parents told me I could stay home, unpack my things and then rest a little. The flight had been rather long and tiring, so I agreed. Not that I wanted to go to school in the first place, I mean, it's not everyday you get to stay home for almost no reason.

"Bubbeh!" I hear my mom call me from downstairs and shout back, "in a second." I place my luggage on the floor, right next to the desk and then head to the door. Hopefully mom will make it quick and I can come back and finish unpacking, so I won't have to worry about it later.

I reach downstairs and go straight towards the kitchen where I know my mom is at. "Yes?" I ask, a little wary of what she wants of me, once I got to the door. "Of there you are! Could you please go and buy some groceries, Bubbeh? Dad and I are really busy at the moment." I nod at her, knowing that I have no choice in this matter. "Good, here is some money and a list," she continues, after taking a stack of cash from her purse and handing it over to me with the list. I stare at it in disbelief, before heading out, a stack of money and a list in my hands.

Now outside and half-way to the store, I regret not dressing myself more properly. I had forgotten how much colder it is here, since I've been living under the blazing sun for over a year now. You can sure get used to things fast, huh? I look down at my arms, which are naked due to the short-sleeved shirt I am wearing and try to remember how pale they used to be before, but it's not as easy as I had thought it would be. I should look for some photoalbums when I get back home, I think, just as I reach the store.

The store is mostly empty, but I guess that was to be expected. I look down at the list to see what it said. First thing on it was milk, so I look back up and am about to go and get the said item, when I see someone I recognise at the cash register. "Cartman?" I ask outloud, signaling him of my presence and making him turn his head to look in my direction, only for him to go wide-eyed and ask, "Jew?" in response. We then both stare at eachother for a couple of moments in complete silence, until Cartman finally walks over to me, a grin present on his face. That can't mean good.

"Back so soon, Jew? Did you miss me?" he asks, infuriating me in an instant. "You wish, fatass!" I scoff back at him, my lips forming a frown. Of course he's still an asshole, what was I thinking, that'd he'd change while I was gone? Asking that question in my head, I unconsciously look back at Cartman and then I realise. The fatass wasn't a fatass anymore, he was just an ass.

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**Sorry about the shortness, it just seemed like a nice place to end it. The next chapter will probably come out in the following days, so no worries! : D**


	2. Fatass

**Author's Note: Ah, I apologize if they are OOC, I've never written fanfics before! D :  
Oh and this story is supposed to be slowish, especially these two's relationship. I just can't ever imagne them getting together fast, it would take quite a long while actually, for them to even become friends, that is.**

**Anyway, please review and let me know if you saw any major mistakes, cause I'm sleep deprived. : D**

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Well, he was still fat and everything, but not _as_ overweight as before. It sure is surprising to meet him here, I was sure everybody would be at school, but then again, it's Cartman we're talking about. It's not that rare for him to miss school for almost no reason if no reason at all, though usually he had a reason, like taking over the world or screwing someone's life over really bad.

Speaking of reasons, the reason he seems to be here for today, is in his hands. He is holding a pack of cigarettes. It's a brand I don't recognise, but it's not that shocking since I don't smoke in the first place. Makes me wonder though, is he a smoker? Didn't we try it out when we we're younger and burn down the school? I didn't think any of us would ever smoke again in our life after that incident, but I guess I was wrong.

Cartman seemed to notice me staring at the pack of cigarettes or so I think, since the next thing he did was hiding it behind his back, slowly and carefully, as if I wouldn't notice. "So, Jew-rat, what's bringing you here today?" he asks me, using one of his old insults to address me. If that was his attempt to make me angry and forget about what I saw, atleast for now, then it most definetly worked. "And why exactly should I tell you, fatass?" I ask him back, completely worked up again.

I don't know why everything he says keeps getting to me, but I'm blaming it on the fact, that I haven't seen that nazi-bastard for so long, I've forgotten how to deal with him. Yeah, that's probably it. I mean, who could deal with someone like Cartman for more then a few minutes? Well, he's mom could, but she's kind of the reason he is who he is in the first place, so she technically doesn't count.

"I dunno know, maybe cause you owe it to me?" he shoots back yet another question at mine, his eyebrow raised. My eyebrows do not raise, they furrow, as I try to make sense of what he just said. "Owe you what, fatso?" I ask him in return, after a short pause of thinking. I don't know why I even thought about his question, as if it would mean anything reasonable in the first place. I don't know why I'm still even here, talking to him in the matter of fact! Well, atleast now I know his ego is as big as ever before and that I don't have to worry about that _ever_ changing.

His respone to my last question pissed me off more then anything else he had done a minute before, he had that shit-eating grin on his face, which I surely hadn't missed and was definetly not glad to see again. "Your life," was his answer. Ugh, should of expected that. "That doesn't count, Cartman!" I shout back at him right away, not even thinking, since I've already given up on thinking when around him, seeing as my brain just can't coprehend his way of thinking at all.

Apparently that answer was to his liking, since he burts out laughing. "What the hell is so funny!?" I ask outloud, almost shouting, though I had meant to think it this time. Man, am I falling apart or what? "How oblivious..." Cartman finally musters out, after laughing for a few minutes straight. I swear to god, one more word from him and I'll break his nose. It's not like I haven't done that before.

I decide that that was it and I couldn't bare to be in his presence any longer, so I turned my back to him and stared down at the list instead, to see what I was about to get again. Oh right, milk. I then look back up and am about to go get it, but I am instead pulled back around by a hand that has taken a hold of my wrist. "Cartman.." I hiss, before I am actually face to face with him and when I realise he's much taller then me all of a sudden. Oh yeah, he was further away just a few second again, so I must've not noticed, but he has grown _quite_ a bit. Him staring down at me from up above like that, is almost intimidating, but not quite.

I pull back my hand so suddenly, he must've not expected that, since there was a second I thought I saw surprise on is face, but it was quickly covered away by his usual pokerface. He may be taller then me now, but that doesn't mean shit. "What?" I ask him, a _little_ calmer then before, but still pissed off. He better have a good reason for his actions.

"Look, you stupid Jew," he starts and I scowl at his insult, before he could continue, "don't get the wrong idea, but.." he trailed off. "But what?" I ask him, not any less pissed off then before. He looked kind of hesitant for a moment, before he actually said anything, but when he did I swear I almost laughed out loud. "I think we should stop our feud for now," he said. Eric T. Cartman, asking me, Kyle Broflovski to stop '_feuding_' with him? Am I dreaming?

I must of had a pretty skeptical look on my face, because he quickly added, "I'll fill you in later," before taking a step away from me and turning around, walking back to the cash register. Fill me in later? I'm not sure if I wanna know what has made Cartman of all people to ask of me such a thing, but it has certainly gotten me curious.

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**I swear the next chapter is going to be longer, atleast 1,500 words, I know how frusturating it is to wait for days, only to get a few words.**


	3. Friendless

**Author's Note: I swore I could do it, ****1,500 words and I did! : D Man do I feel accomplished.**

**I thank everyone for the reviews, favs and even the follow! It truly made my day to see that some people actually like what I have written thus far, even if it isn't much. I am so grateful to you guys, thank you so so much! X D**

**On another note, I hope you enjoy what I have for you next and if you don't or if you want to have a say in another matter, you can always review and let me know. : ) **

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After running into Cartman at the store, I proceeded to buy all I needed and headed home right away. I was still in a sour mood, since meeting with that asshole always leaves me fuming, but I wasn't _as_ angry as I usually would be. I was too confused to be that angry at the moment. What did he mean by '_I'll fill you in later_'? Did something happen while I was away? "No, it's just him trying to get to me again," I ressure myself outloud, shaking such thoughts out of my head.

Back at home I went straight to my room to finish unpacking my stuff and once that was done, I stepped out of my room and into the hallway. I think I might of missed something once I got home, since my mind was set only on finishing the unpacking of my stuff and that alone.

Yup, I was right. I stare at the wall, now covered in photos. I knew they'd be put up again where they used to be. Looking at the old photos of our family, I am midly surprised to see how I used to look like. Did I really change _that_ much while I was away? It was unbelievable. Sure I had ditched the hat and cut my hair, but I was also a lot tanner and I had surely grown quite a bit myself. Man, if this doesn't stop, my voice will change soon enough as well and there won't be _anything_ left to recognize me by, well, expect for my red hair. It's not like I'm the only ginger around here though, unless they _all_ moved away as well after I had, but that's unlikely.

I then hear the doorbell and a moment later my mom shouting to go and see who it is. I sigh, feeling like I'm being pushed around like a slave today, before I walk downstairs again. I hope it's not Cartman, coming to piss me off even more, cause if it is I don't know what I'll do or more accurately, what my fist will. It has a mind of it's own you know.

When I do open the door, I instead see Stan and Kenny, I guess they had heard of my arrival. A smile graces my lips as soon as I see them, glad to finally see some people who I _actually_ consider my friends. "Wow," Stan says, seeing me, probably surprised of my appearance as much I am. "Yeah.." I reply, when my eyes land on Kenny. It seems like he has ditched his parka and is now just wearing a hoodie and a scarf. It still covers him up pretty good, but it's still more revealing then his old outfit. It suits him though.

Stan actually looks almost the exact same as before, although he has grown and matured as well, but I'm pretty sure now that we all have since we last saw eachother. I can't believe he is _still_ wearing that hat even now though, it's actually a little heartwarming to be honest, but silly nonetheless. When I think about it, I think I still have my own old hat somewhere in the boxes that are still downstairs. I guess I'll have to check if that's true later on.

"Come in," I say, when neither of the two say anything after a moment of silence and step aside, so they could do just so. They instead look at eachother and then back at me, now sporting a more serious expression. Now I'm a little worried. "Kyle, look.." Stan starts, pausing to glance over at Kenny again and then back at me, before continuing, "..this might sound a little cruel, but we can't be friends anymore."

I swear my heart sank as soon as I heard those word. Can't be friend anymore? What has gotten into them? I then remember how odd Cartman had acted before and realise it has a _100%_ probability of having something to do with this. Of course it's something to do with _that bastard_, who elses faulth it could be. He probably made everyone believe his bullshit again, as per usual. It wouldn't surpise me, since this town is full of retards to begin with.

"..anyway, that's all we came here to say, so-" Stan goes on, before I interrupt him by asking, "Was it Cartman, did he make everyone turn cuckcoo again? Whatever he said to you guys, it isn't true." It made him shut up and for a second I thought I had hit the bullseye, but then he shakes his head, mouthing a no. I am too shaken then to react, when they turn around and leave. If it wasn't Cartman, then.. _why?_ Were they still mad at me for not messaging them after I moved away? I mean I had aplogized for that through facebook, after I had gotten access to the internet eventually, so that couldn't be it, could it?

Closing the door, I stare at it for awhile. My childhood friends just ended our friendship and I had had no say in that, I hadn't even heard their reasons. "They must of had good reasons for their actions, right... right?" I ask myself outloud, turning away from the door. Yeah, of course! What was I thinking, of course they have their reasons. I'll just have to help them with whatever has gotten them stuck and everything will go back to how it used to be, easy as that. That's what I am thinking, but yet, I am still not that sure this time. My heart is telling one thing, while my mind is telling another.

Sitting down on the sofa in the living room, I pick up the remote. "Dude, I'm watching that you know," I hear from beside me, but I ignore what my brother is saying and change the channel anyway. He can watch his hockey some _other_ time, I think bitterly, but am then startled when the remote is snatched from my hands and the channel is changed back to what it was before. "Ike!" I snap at him, turning my head in his direction. "If something is troubling you, then go talk to someone about it, instead of making others lives miserable because of it," he calmly advises me, being the know-it-all he's_ always_ been.

"Well.." I start, but then stop, not sure where to begin. Ike is saying in the backround how he hadn't meant himself, but I ignore him. I think for a minute or two and start again, "It seems like people who weren't my friends, suddenly want to be my friends and those who were don't. I don't know what's going on, but it was probably _that bastard_.. yeah and I am cert-" This time it's _me_ who gets interrupted, by my little brother. "Oh, that. It's cause you guys are in _high school_ now. You're the new kid and your old friends are probably popular now or something, so they don't want to hang out with you anymore. It's simple logic," he explains to me, proving yet again, that he is too damn smart and knowledgable for his age. I am 15, while he is 9, yet he is the one knowing stuff I should be aware of and him not.

After that talk with my brother I went upstairs and to my room again and I am now on my laptop, staring at the screen in disbelief. _All_ my facebook friends have suddenly vanished. It's kind of like deja vu in a way. Could my little brother really be right? Stan and Kenny aren't my friends anymore, _just_ because I'm the new kid now? I am not sure if I want to laugh or cry at that idea, but I'm suspecting it's the latter.

I am shocked, when I go to the settings in my facebook account to delete my account and instead I see I have a new friend request. And I am even more shocked, when I find out it's from Cartman. "No way, he is just.." I mumble to myself, thinking he is just planning to humiliate me again somehow. I ignore the friend request for now, not sure if to cancel _or_ accept, even though my mind is saying cancel over and over again.

For the rest of the day, I don't go out even once. I am too upset and puzzeled by what had happened before, to go outside and find out that it really is true. That I am now _so_ low on the pyramid, that even my best friends don't want to be seen with me anymore. Everything Ike said will be proven false anyway, I tried to reason with myself, but it doesn't set my mind at ease like I hoped it would. When my bro says that it is so, then it usually is. Actually, I don't remember him _ever_ being wrong, like, ever. That thought makes me even more miserable and I swear I was about to cry, before I hear a knock on my door and my dad steps in.

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**The next day starts in the next chapter, so don't worry, this day won't last for too long. Wonder if I can get to 2,000 words next time.**


	4. Betrayal

**Author's Note: This chapter was supposed to be super long, but I accidentally closed it without saving and had to write it all over again and ended up losing about half of it. I am a little upset right now..  
Atleast I made it to 2,000 words.**

**Anyway, thank you for all the reviews, favs and follows, I love you guys! : D**

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_The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend._

_-Heather Brewer, Ninth Grade Slays_

Today is tuesday and also my first day of school. I could stay home yesterday, but it had been made evident to me the day before, that I am most definitely going to go to school the next day, meaning today, no matter what. I'm not complaining, just a little nervous that's all. There's a lot on my mind. Hopefully everything I fear will happen, won't.

Munching on a piece of toast, I think back to the evening of last night, when my dad had come over to talk. He doesn't do that often, usually only doing so when mom has ordered him and I suspect it was mom that made him come talk to me in yesterday's case as well. She can be rather bossy time to time, especially with my dad, but for some reason she never wants to be the one to explain things to me. I'm not sure why and for some reason, I'm not sure if I want to know.

_I hear a knock on my door and then my dad walks in, without even waiting for an answer._

_"Hey, Kyle, how's it going?" he asks me, obviously just stalling, but I go along._

_"Pretty good. Why?"_

_My dad then closes the door behind him and leans against it, his eyes set on the floor. I'm not sure what he is thinking, but I have an idea. Just in case, I don't jump to the gun, but wait till he is ready to talk himself._

_"You see, your mother and I were talking and we both think this school is not good enough for you. I know we just moved again, but... What do you think, Kyle? Are you sure about going to this school?"_

_I don't even waste a second to think, because I am already sure in what I want. "Yes, I am, dad," I say._

_It was me who had suggested we move back here and I am not changing my mind, at least not that easily. I would need some pretty good convincing before that._

_My dad nods at my answer, before looking into my eyes for the first time since he had come to my room and smiles. I smile back and look as he turns around again to open the door and leave._

Once back to reality, I realize the toast in my mouth is gone and I instead drink the orange juice from my glass, before I stand up and take the empty glass to the sink. "Goodbye," I simply say and head for the door, before my parents can even respond back. I am just too anxious to sit around at home, when I could already be at school, talking things over with Stan and Kenny. I'm sure there is just some stupid misunderstanding clouding their minds.

Almost at the bus stop, I can only see one figure from the distance. It makes me frown slightly, since that means that the only person it could be, would be Cartman. And once I get closer, it turns out it is. Just great! Of all people it could be, it's him. Well, to be honest, seeing Stan and Kenny right now wouldn't be much better, but that's beside the point.

"Kahl," he addresses me, without even sparing me a glance. I'm not sure if to be glad he is being so civil or not, but I leave it be for now and answer him with a, "Cartman."

It might of have just been my eyes playing tricks on me, but I swear I could see a faint trace of a smile on Cartman's face, when I greeted him back. Knowing Cartman, then it probably was the other kind of smile, not the one you hope to see on people's faces when you greet them in the morning. I just hope he is not smiling about some evil plan he has come up with, that would screw my life even more over.

The bus arrives soon after and we both get on, sitting as far away from each other as possible. Even if I'm not friends with Stan and Kenny anymore or atleast not at the time being, doesn't mean I have to be all buddy-buddy with him now. We still hate each other, through and through. Besides, I'm going to fix things, so I'm more then sure that I won't fall so low, to actually start befriending Cartman of all people.

I am sitting in the classroom in my new seat, just so darn glad, that I was sitting behind Cartman of all people. Could this day get any worse? I don't know if Mr. Garrison has gotten more oblivious to what is happening around the classroom or he just doesn't even give a flying shit anymore, because that asshole is bugging the hell out of me right now.

"You sure you don't want me to fill you in on things?" he asks me again, his brow raised and I repeat what I had told him earlier, "No." I wouldn't trust him to give me the truth in all it's naked glory, without changing a few important details here and there and twisting them around, to sound the complete opposite.

He rolls his eyes, as if reading my thoughts, but he doesn't say anything. Atleast not for now. He is still facing me though and it makes me feel awkward, since he is now staring at me, like full on staring at me. I clear my throat, to let him know of my discomfort, which makes him raise his brow again. God I hate when he does that. He seemes to get the message though, since the next moment, his face is replaced by his back and I feel like I can breath again, not that I was holding it or anything.

Now that Cartman wasn't harrassing me, I set my eyes on Stan. He is staring out the window, not paying attention to what Mr. Garrison was saying by the least, but I'm pretty sure nobody is. He doesn't seem any different from his usual self. Maybe Ike _was _wrong after all and Stan did have an completely understandable explanation for his sudden disinterest in our friendship. I smile slightly, thinking now that I might of not actually lost my best friend for good and that I just have to talk things through with him.

When the bell rings and the first period is over, I walk right over to Stan's desk. I open my mouth to address him, but the way he suddenly shots out of his seat startles me and leaves me looking back at him, as he storms out of the classroom. What the hell?

The next times don't go any smoother either. Everytime he runs away before I can even open my mouth, goes over to someone else or pretends to not notice my presence in the first place. I know I said he probably, most definitely has his reasons, but I am starting to worry.

Sudden weight on my shoulder, brings me out of my thoughts and I turn around, to see nobody else, but Eric Cartman. Is it me or is he being especially sticky today? Before I can question him about his behaviour, he grabs hold my wrist and drags me out of the classroom. I tried my best the whole way, to pull my hand back, but to no avail. It took him one year and out of the blue, his strength is too overwhelming for me, this is far from fair.

"Look, you want to hear the truth or not doesn't matter, I am telling you it anyway," Cartman says, once we were out of the classroom, turning to face me. I look down at my and his hand and back at his face, but he either doesn't care or doesn't care. I think it's the latter.

I try one last time to pull back my hand, but this time is as fruitless as the others and I give up on that, since i feels like he is tightening his grip around my wrist everytime I try to get it free and it's seriously starting to hurt. "As I'd believe anything you say," is what I say, but he doesn't seem to care. "I'm sure you are probably thinking up reasons right now, aren't you, as to why Stan is acting like such bitch around you ever since you've come back?" I furrow my brows in annoyance, hearing him call Stan such a word, but before I retort, he goes on. "It's because you are jewish, ginger and jersey," he 'explains', making me clatter my teeth in anger.

Why I was actually expecting him to give me an answer, I'm not sure, but this is the last straw if he- "Oh, look guys, it's the new kid and the faggot!" I hear someone shout from behind me and I jerk myself in that direction so fast, that the fatass actually wasn't fast enough to react and I got my wrist back. I would of gloated in victory, if I was in any other kind of situation.

"How much are you guys betting, that these two are total fags for each other?" Clyde asks, a grin plastered on his face. "I'd bet my whole saving account," Craig answers, an equally disturbing grin on his face. The rest of the group laugh, wholeheartetly may I add, before they turn the corner to walk off. I was pissed, no, that was an understatement, I was furious! I don't deserve to be treated like this, what the hell did _I_ do to be mocked like this?! "Fucking asswipes," I hear someone swear from behind me and I turn around to see Cartman, pissed of just as much as me, if not more. His eyes are closed, brows furrowed and his fists are clenched, he looks more pissed off then I've seen in him in years.

After that wonderful time in the hallway I decided to skip the next class and go to the roof. I don't know why I chose that place, but it didn't really care that much. It was my first day back at this school and I am already walked all over. "Well this is just wonderful," I mutter outloud, sarcasm dripping from every word. "Get used to it..." I hear from right next to me an I jump in surprise, only do realise who's voice I just heard. "K-Kenny...?" I ask, not sure if to believe my ear _or_ my eyes.

He smirks, seeing my expression and I feel slightly annoyed for a second, before I come to my senses. "What are you-" I start, but am interrupted by Kenny himself. "Kyle, my dear friend, don't hold it against us two, but it would really be better for all of us, if you'd just stop trying," he says to me, his face serious all of a sudden, but then he smirks again, before continuing, "Just ask Cartman, if your not convinced yet. I bet you two would get along if you just tried, seeing as you are both so.." I didn't hear the last part and not because I was too shellshocked to listen properly, but because Kenny's face was met with someone's fist and he ended up falling off the roof, before he could finish.

I watch him fall and then splatter all over the ground with emotionless eyes, before I turn around and stare at Cartman, as he pants. I don't say anything, I just look at him. I'm not sure what one is supposed to say in a situation like this and I can't think of one either, because my mind is completely blank. Utterly and hopelessly blank.

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**This chapter was originally a lot different, with Stan being there instead of Kenny and nobody flew off the roof, but this is how it ended up as and I'm not even sure myself how or why it happened exactly.**


	5. I swear

**Author's Note: I wrote this chapter three times, until I achieved this. I hope it's at least a bit decent. :')**

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favs, they make my day. Coming home from a long tiring school day, where we are preparing for exams, to see everyone's kind words. It is a feeling I'll surely get addicted to.**

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_"Love, friendship and respect do not unite people as much as a common hatred for something."_  
_-Anton Chekhov_

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The rest of the day was uneventless. I mean, I did go home right after the _chat_ I had with Kenny on the school rooftop. I'll worry about my parents being informed of my absence from the few last classes some other time, because I can't even think right now.

I'm in my room, on my bed, my Ipod resting on my stomach and music blasting into my ears. I'm not really paying attention to the lyrics though, I just hoped the music would help me calm down, but it isn't. Well, to be honest, my mind isn't completely blank anymore. There are a few images flashing through my mind. The guys making fun of me, Kenny's bloody corpse, Stan ignoring me, Kenny's corpse, Cartman's stupid face, _Kenny..._

"UAAAAHHHHHHH-!" I find myself screaming, yet I don't do anything to stop myself. I keep screaming and screaming, until my voice cracks and I am out of breath. Why am I so damn upset? I mean, it's not like my whole life is ruined now or anything. I am being so immature aren't I? I've always thought of myself as the smartest and most mature of the group, but that never was the case and I can see it now, ever so clearly. In fact, I might of been the stupidest, thinking I'd be enjoying my life with my friends for forever.

_"-and I swear. By the moons and the stars in the skys. I'll be there."_

My eyes widen, recognising the song.

_"I swear. Like the shadow that's by your side. I'll be there."_

It was the song cartman sang_ to me _with all those people around, to make Nichole think we were dating. That son of a... that asshole. His mother may be a whore, but I am not calling her the B word, not even in my thoughts. She's doing a pretty good job, considering who her son is. If she wasn't there, I don't even have a clue what Cartman might of accomplished already. Everybody knows that Cartman's mom does everything Cartman asks of her, but she does have some boundaries on him, I've seen her scold him myself. So I am sure, that if she wasn't there, Cartman would be even worse then he is now.

Wait... Why am I even thinking about that fatass to begin with? Ugh!

_"-and when (and when) just the two of as are there, you won't have to ask if I still care. Cause as the time turns the page, my love won't age at all."_

I frown and shuffle, tired of hearing that stupid song, that I like for some unexplainable reason. It's just making me feel worse. Now instead of an almost blank mind, my mind is filled of thoughs about that fatass. He is just so damn fat, that even when he is is my thoughts, he takes so much space that all the other thoughts just fly out of my ears. How frusturating.

* * *

It's wednesday morning and I feel like shit. I didn't get any sleep at night whatsoever, oh and my parents got a call from the school, so I am grounded now as well. Well, since I don't have any friends anymore, I guess it's not that big of a deal.. _right?!_ I glare at my reflection at the mirror, as I brush my teeth aggresively. It's just the third day and I already regret choosing this place to move back to, but my goddamn pride isn't letting me admit it to my parents, because I know, I just know that they'd be thinking to themselves, _'Told you so' _and I am not going to give them a chance to do so, I'm not giving them the pleasure.

When I sit down behind the table, I notice, that the room is oddly quiet. I knew I should of just skipped breakfast.

"Kyle, your mom and I would like to have a word with you."

My dad says, him and my mother sitting with me and I realise, that Ike isn't here. That means, that they have planned on a serious talk with me and I am not looking forward to that.

"Yes?"

"You see, _son, _we know that you like it here. Seeing all your friends again, must be fun, but-"

Oh how only he realised how wrong he is.

"-we still think you should consider changing schools, Kyle."

"Why so?"

"You skipping classes, it's not like you. We don't want you to end up making the wrong decisions."

I find my fathers reasoning fair, but I find myself staring at my mom instead. She is being too quiet, it's nothing like her usual self. Sure, she always lets dad do all the important talking, but she'd still pitch in, saying who's faulth it is and who should be punished, who should get all the blame and stuff like that. Today however, she is quiet and her face is dead set on me, with an unreadable expression. It kind of terrifies me.

"We are not asking you to have an answer ready right away, but just think about it, okay?"

My dad smiles as he says that and I can't help myself, but nod. He seemed content with that response, when he looked over at my mom and then stands up. Mom did the same and soon both of them were out of the kitchen. I sighed in relief, glad that that had been all they wanted to discuss with me today.

* * *

I am at the bus stop again, with Cartman, _again_. I wish some other people besides us two used the bus to get to school around here, so I wouldn't have to stand with him _every_ darn morning. At least in the mornings he didn't have as much energy, so there werent any stupid arguments or insults coming my way at the moment. Thank you, god, for not making that asshole a morning person.

Not long after we are both in the first period and he is bothering me again, the sleepiness he seemed to possess earlier gone. Thank you, _god. _I try to ignore him and look to my left again, but quickly turn my face back in Cartman's direction, when I lock eyes with Stan. Why was he looking here and of _all_ times he could do that, why now?! Cartman seemed to notice my weird behaviour and stops talking for a moment, to look where I had just looked myself and faces me again with a frown. It's a slight frown, but still a frown. What's he so upset about all of a sudden? Actually, no, I don't wanna know.

It seems that god, if he really did happen to exist, thinks it's funny to torture me. "You know, I was just joking yesterday, right?" Cartman asks me and I know what he means, but just for the heck of it, I ask him back, "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Jew."

"No, I'm pretty sure I don't. Would you care to explain?"

He is glaring at me now and I am about to smirk in triumph, but he does so before I can.

"Oh, I see now, what you are trying to do. Kahl, did you really think that would work?"

"My name's Kyle."

"Don't be a smartass... Kahl."

I am the one to glare at Cartman this time, but it doesn't seem to bother him, infact, I think he is feeling damn proud of himself right now. It just pisses me off even further.

"Then stop being such an asshole!"

"I see, so you still haven't gotten that sand out of your vagina, huh?"

"For the last time, Cartman, I don't have sand in my vagina!"

I am beet red from anger, as I glare daggers at Cartman, only to be brought back to earth by Mr. Garrison's voice,

"Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman. Principal's office, now."

I guess Mr. Garrison does give a shit, when the chatter turn into shouting, that is.

* * *

I am sitting and waiting, infront of the principal's office. I am a angry, really angry, but I must be patient. The source of my anger is right next to me and sure, I could just punch him in the face right now and get it over with, but if I don't want to get in even more trouble, then I must wait until we are both off school grounds. I almost snort at that thought. As if I'd ever be together with him off school grounds, that's just impossible.

When the door of the principal's door opens, I see Craig and I can't stop myself from remembering what happened yesterday.

_Oh, look guys, it's the new kid and the faggot!" I hear someone shout from behind me and I jerk myself in that direction so fast, that the fatass actually wasn't fast enough to react and I got my wrist back. I would of gloated in victory, if I was in any other kind of situation._

_"How much are you guys betting, that these two are total fags for each other?" Clyde asks, a grin plastered on his face. "I'd bet my whole saving account," Craig answers, an equally disturbing grin on his face. The rest of the group laugh, wholeheartetly may I add, before they turn the corner to walk off. I was pissed, no, that was an understatement, I was furious! I don't deserve to be treated like this, what the hell did I do to be mocked like this?! "Fucking asswipes," I hear someone swear from behind me and I turn around to see Cartman, pissed of just as much as me, if not more. His eyes are closed, brows furrowed and his fists are clenched, he looks more pissed off then I've seen in him in years._

Before I realise what I'm doing, I stand up and charge towards him and my fist makes contact with his face, right when the principal gets to the door. _Fuck._

* * *

"I am sorely dissapointed in you, Kyle. I would of expect that from Eric, but you?"

The principal says and I can see the dissappointment rather clearly on her face and it only makes me feel guiltier. I mean I didn't mean to punch Craig, I was just riled up by Cartman from before, so I wasn't thinking clearly. Yeah, that's it, it's all Cartman's faulth!'

When she realises I don't have an answer, she sighs, before continuing.

"I am going to have to have to inform your paren-"

"No!"

I jumped up from my seat, as soon I heard the mention of my parents. If my parents find out about this, we'll surely move away, before I can manage to fix anything. Sure, they said it's mine to decide, but I know it really isn't! They always say it is, just to make me feel like I am included and that my opinion counts.

"I am sorry, Kyle, but I have no choice."

I sit back down and I know I looked absolulty terrified, but it was replaced by shock, because then _he_ spoke up.

"You do know what a bitch Kyle's mom is, right? She'd surely kill him if she found out. Don't you remember the 'Canada incident'?"

Usually I would tell Cartman off for calling my mom the B word, but this time I didn't. He was speaking up for me, I don't know why, but he was. Even if he was just doing that to gain my trust, to take advantage of it later, I still felt touched. I felt.. touched?

"I really have no choice, I am sorry boys."

* * *

I am currently standing in the hallway, after leaving the principal's office. I couldn't bring myself to go back to class, even though I knew I should. My feet, they just didn't move and I couldn't do anything about it, because my brain was too occupied with something else. Thinking, of how to explain all this to my parents.

"Wanna skip?"

I look up from the floor and up at the person before me.

"Are you trying to get me even more trouble, asshole?"

"No, just thought it would be the right time to finally _fill you in_."

Yeah, right. I think I've heard enough, to know where that'll take me. Can't believe I actually expected him to tell me yesterday, but I ain't falling for that one again. Not ever.

"Yeah, I think I have enough of your explanations." I scoffed back at him and tried to get past him, but he wouldn't budge. I guess there is a use for such a huge body, who knew.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Then this?" he asks me, smirking.

I don't respond.

"Okay, how about this, Kahl, I'll fill you in on _everything_, not just about Stan."

"And what will you get out of it?"

"Your expression, when you hear the truth?"

"Try again."

He shuts up when I say that and I thought he was done with that, when I actually got past him, with him not trying to get in my way. I was wrong. Of course he wasn't done, he'd never give up that easily, it's in his nature, to always win.

"I can get back at Stan."

I stop walking, when I hear him mention Stan. Did something happen between the two of them that I should know? Probably not. I mean, Cartman was never any of our friend, so... But what if I'm wrong? Stan has been acting really _really _weird lately and as much as I wouldn't like to admit it, Cartman doesn't look like the one behind it this time.

"Fine, but only in one condition," I finally give in, but only because of Stan. So much for '_never falling for that again_'. Shut up, brain, I know.

"Name it."

"You have to swear, that you'll never call my mother a Bitch ever again."

I know I could of asked anything, but getting him to stop calling my mom like that, was good enough for me. I know my mom can be overbearing and overprotective at times, but I love her and it hurts me whenever someone says anything bad about her. Even if what they say is right.

"I swear."

Hearing those words, my heart skipped a beat and I grasped at my chest. I'm glad that I wasn't facing him, because I'm sure he'd laugh his ass off, if he saw what my face looked like.

_God, how I hate that song._

* * *

**Song is called, "I swear" and it's by all4one. Season 16 episode 7, "Cartman finds love", is where that song is heard, in case you were wondering. : )**


	6. Is this a dream?

**Author's Note: I think this chapter took me the longest to write and I know it might be a little boring, but it's a really important chapter, which had to be written. **

**I thank you guys again, for the really nice reviews you guys keep writing, I couldn't be happier- and also the favs and follows. Hopefully I won't disappoint you guys, with where I am going with this story, but if I am then remember, you guys can tell me _anything_ over at the reviews or even pm me.**

**Thank you and enjoy! : D**

* * *

I can't believe I am currently in Cartman's house, on his couch, watching tv with him. I glance over to the said person and stare at him, while he is intently watching tv himself. I wonder what he is thinking, is this just another one of his acts, to get me to do whatever he says, only to find out I'd been lied to again later or was he really serious? Was he telling the truth, when he told me he wanted to stop feuding with me? No, couldn't be. Could it?

As I keep staring at his face, too deep in thought, I finally realise, that he is staring back. I blink a few times, before I quickly look away. Way to go Kyle, now he thinks you are a fag, too. I mean sure he looks better now, with him having lost quite a lot of his fat and he looks pretty good without his hat, but- wait, _what_? My face turns into mere disgust, when I catch myself thinking that way. Wait, _no_, I was just aknowledging the fact that he is not that ugly anymore. It's completely okay to think about another guy like that. Yeah, It's not like I think he is good-looking or anything, just a _little_ less of an eye-sore.

I sigh to myself, when I am done convincing myself that I am not having homosexual thoughts. I mean, what was I thinking, me, gay for _Cartman_? That's probably the most stupid thing I have ever thought.

"You okay, Jew?" I suddenly hear Cartman ask, with somewhat of a concerned voice, but I'm sure he is just faking. There is just no way, that my biggest enemy, is seriously concerned about me.

I reluctantly look back in his direction and dare I say, almost fall off the couch, when I see his brown eyes close-up. What the hell! Why is he so close all of a sudden?! Before I can act, Cartman's palm is on my forehead and I can't keep myself from thinking, _'He's actually worried about me..' _I jump off the couch and away from Cartman, when I realise what I had just thought. Stop, brain, stop!

"Doesn't seem like you have a fever," he mutters, standing up himself, towering over me now.

He looks over to me and I'm not sure anymore, if the concern in his eyes is really just faked or if he is genuinely worried about my well-being. I mean, he is always been good at lying, but _this_, this is on another level. But, maybe he is worried? I should at least consider that option, right? Even if it is pretty implausible and it's the person who actually fed someone their parent's once and wasn't upset, even when he found out one of them was his own dad.

"I'm fine, fatass." I finally responded after a long awkward silence and he doesn't look like buys it.

He doesn't question me though, _thankfully_, instead tells me to wait, before heading over to the kitchen, probably to get something to stuff in his face. Even if he isn't _that_ fat anymore, he still looks like someone who eats way more then his body needs. Makes me wonder how he managed to get thinner in the first place, but it's not like I can ask him directly, he'd probably kick me out or _worse._

Cartman comes back a few minutes later, a pack of cheesy poofs in his hands and plops down on the couch. I sit back down myself, slightly nervous for some reason. I stare at the tv screen, but I don't pay attention, because all I can think about right now, is Cartman.

* * *

"Wanna play on my Xbox?" he asks me and my mouth falls open, before I look at him with questioning eyes. I think I might of heard him wrong. There is no way he just asked me that.

"What?" he asks, with a slightly annoyed tone.

"You.. are letting me... play on your xbox?" I ask him, pointing at him with my hand and then at myself, to make a point.

"Yeah, so?"

I look at him in disbelief, still not sure if my ears are in working-order. Is he seriously asking me, who broke his last xbox, if I want to play with him on his new one? He couldn't have forgotten, could he? No way. He was really upset after that happend, there is no way he had forgotten.

"You do remember, that I was the one who broke your last one... right?"

"Of course I remember, you stupid Jew."

Okay, not that I know he remembers, for sure, I am not sure what to do. Should I accept?

"Then why?"

"Ugh, fine, if you don't want to, then don't. Jeez."

He then keeps muttering insults and swear words, obviously about me, before he walks upstairs and leaves me alone, to think about what just happened. Was he just trying to be nice to me? Is all I can think, utterly confused and shocked at what had just happened. This has to be some kind of weird dream. No way in hell, did this just happen.

* * *

After a few more hours over at Cartman's house, hanging out with him, which I still can't believe happened, I end up heading home. I am not sure how angry my parents must be right now, but I imagine pretty pissed. I mean, I can't believe myself, that this just happened, but my worries go to the back of my head, when I think back to the conversation me and Cartman had had at his house, about _Stan _and how he was acting before all that. I had to practically force him to finally_ fill me in_, until he actually did and saying I was in shock after hearing what he had to say, would be an understatement.

_"Spill it Cartman!" I yelled at him, perhaps a little too loudly, but I don't really care. Cartman had been acting pretty weird ever since we came over to his house, barely speaking to me. He was the one who brought me here, to talk in the first place, that asshole!_

_"Are you sure..?"_

_"Of course I am fucking sure!"_

_I swear he looks almost as if he was nervous as he hesitantly stands up, letting his controller fall to the floor and makes his way over to me, before sitting down back down on the floor next to be, pulling me down with him. I glare at him for a moment, but calm down, when I see the expression on his face. He looks, dare I saw, as if he is about to cry._

After that he told me everything that had happened after I had left and I still don't know if any of that was the truth, but I know a way to find out. I have to talk with_ Stan or Kenny_, I have to find a way to talk to them or atleast one of them, even if it means forcing them to do so. I can't bare it any longer, the way they are treating me and how Cartman is treating me, it's making me go insane. It's as if Cartman was the one who's friends with me now, instead of Stan and Kenny and that, that is just plain wrong.

* * *

When I reach my house, I stop and stand in front of the house for a minute, to calm myself. Okay, so the principal called my parents, right? She probably told them how I interrupted the class, acted violently _and _skipped a few classes again. Now, what else? I am grounded and it's 8pm right now. That's obviously making the matter even worse. So, in conclusion, what are the chances that my parents are going to ground me for the rest of my life?

I open the door, slowly and carefully, before I walk into my house. The tv is playing and I see Ike, watching hockey, _big surprise there_, but I don't see my parents anywhere. I head over to the couch and plop down on it, not muttering a word and neither is Ike, we just sit next to eachother, with only the sound of tv filling both of our ears. Finally I give in, not being able to just stay quiet, as if everything was okay. Since it isn't.

"Where's mom and dad?" I ask him, still staring at the screen and not making eye-contact with him.

He stays quiet for a long while, making me think that either he didn't hear me or he is ignoring me, but after a long while, he speaks. He doesn't sound as if he was upset or anything, like he usually is after out parents fight, which I presume must of happened after the principal called, which is a little weird.

"Having some alone time together."

"...what?"

"You know, in the bedroom, probably _on_ the bed. Getting it o-"

"I get it, I get it!"

I hushed him from say anything further about that matter, grossed out. I mean, who the hell would want to hear about their parents _getting it on_? I almost chocked on my breath. Can't believe Ike would do something like that, that's just cruel. Way, _way_ too cruel. That must be his revenge, for making our parents fight again, so I guess I deserve it.

"Wait, why would they be doing _that_ right now?" I ask outloud, confused.

Ike sighs and I look away from the screen and at him, just when he looks over at me. He has that look on his face, which he usually has, when I owe him something and it takes me a moment, to realise what that meant.

"You-" I start, but he cuts me off, before I can say anything else.

"_You_, owe me big."

I can't stop myself, as I grin ear to ear and wrap my arms around him in a tight bear-hug. He tried to get free at first, but gave in not long after, hugging me back. I know my brother is a know-it-all and annoying by default, but he can be the best brother at times when it really matters. It's funny how time can change people, seeing how I used to hate him so much when we were little, after finding out he was adopted.

After a long time of hugging him, I finally let go of him, to his relief and I could feel my muscles relax considerably.

"How did you do it?" I ask him, my voice giving away how damn happy I am, but I couldn't care less right now. I could worry about my childish behaviour later on.

He shrugged, looking back at the tv screen. I was startled however, when he did finally speak up again, after I had already thought, that he wasn't going to tell me anything.

"Well, just when I got home, with today being the shortest day of the week for me, at twenty past 1pm- the phone rang and I answered it, only to hear _that you were in shitton of trouble_."

I gulp hearing the last part, with him putting emphasis on it. I can just tell, he is enjoying it, but I just nod at him to continue, holding my temper at check, which is pretty hard, considering my temper. I don't like admitting it, but I am pretty _short-tempered. _That trait of mine, is half the reason why I usually ended up getting into arguments with Cartman to begin with. With his personality and my short-temper, there was no way we could ever _not fight_.I must of gotten that trait from my mom.

"-So, when the principal asked me to give the phone over to my parents, I just told them they weren't there and that I would be glad to tell them about everything she had to say. She was hesitant at first, but she gave in eventually," Ike continued and I couldn't help, but thank him again, but his time instead of hugging him, I just thanked him with words. I think he appreciated that, since he smiled back at me, saying how it wasn't that big of a deal and that I would of done the same.

I did still have one question though, which I wanted to get an answer to, "But what did you say to them, about me not being home?"

"Oh, about that..." he started, before changing the channel with the remote in his hands, when the hockey match, which I had forgotten was playing the backround, ended- before finishing with his explanation, "...that fat friend of yours, whatever his name is, called over and told me what to say. Gotta give it to him, that guy is pretty good at lying. You should ask him to teach you or something, seeing how bad you are yourself."

I couldn't believe my ears, when he mentioned the words _fat friend_, since that could only mean one thing. That Cartman saved my ass, but when? I was with him the whole time. Well, unless he called right after he had stormed upstairs after the xbox conversation, but why? Wasn't he angry at me? Not only did he tell me everything about what had happened(even though I am not completely sure it's the truth yet), act like a human being for once, but he also saved me from the wrath of my parents. Okay, seriously, this has to be some really long-ass dream. This can't be real, it just can't be.

* * *

**I know, I know, OOC right? I am sorry, I am trying my best! DX  
-Anyway, just here to say, that the next chapter, will have much drama in it, so beware.**


	7. Beyond repair

**Author's Note: Would you look at that, almost to 3000 words! This is the longest chapter yet and the most heart-breaking.. I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me, it just wrote itself, I swear.**

**Thank you for the reviews, favs and follows, as always, I appreciate them much and they keep me going. : )**

* * *

_"Of course, in a novel, people's hearts break, and they die and that is the end of it; and in a story this is very convenient. But in real life we do not die when all that makes life bright dies to us." _  
_― Harriet Beecher Stowe, Uncle Tom's Cabin_

* * *

Today is thursday, meaning it's my fourth day at living in South park. It's still a little hard to believe all that has happened within just four days of staying here. I lived a whole year in California and yet, nothing of such sorts went down there the whole time. Well, I did date this one girl at one point, but the relationship ended rather badly and I don't even want to think about what followed after. All I'll say, is that that one break up, screwed the whole following time I lived there over. Is still wasn't as bad however, then living here for the past few days has been.

I am at the bus stop, like per usual, but to my surprise I arrive there before Cartman for once. I remember he used to be the last to arrive back then, but the days I've been living here once I've gotten back, he's been here before me no matter how early I have set foot outside. I wonder if something happened?

Soon after, the bus arrived and took me on and soon after that I was at the school entrance, there was still no sign of Cartman. Bus rides have always felt short to me, but today it was different. It actually felt like I would be stuck riding the bus for forever. I guess I should start going to bed earlier, so I wouldn't have to experience this again, since it's probably because of my zombie-state. I actually saw black circles around my eyes when I looked in the mirror this morning, I look like a goddamn panda, except a more exotic version of it.

I walk into the schoolbuilding and go straight to my locker, but as I do, I feel as if all the eyes were on me. I look around, hearing laughter, but as I do, I can clearly see people quickly averting their eyes and turning their heads. Am I hallucinating from my lack of sleep? That's fucked up.

"Where's your boyfriend?" I hear someone ask, as I take some textbooks from my locker. I turn around and am taken aback from the crowd that is suddenly surrounding me.

I am even more taken aback, when someone grabs hold of my collar and I find myself being hold up in the air. "I asked you a question, fag!" is what's being shouted into my face with some spit as aftertaste. I look up, to my horror, to see Craig. This can't be happening, why him? If only I hadn't punched him in the face yesterday, I most likely wouldn't be in this situation. Why_ did_ I punch him..?!

When I don't answer him, he shoves me against the locker, with so much force, that I feel the air escaping from my lungs and find myself helplessly gasping for air. There is nothing I can do, I don't have any strength to stand up for myself. I am like half the size of him, not to mention I haven't played any sports for a few years now. After finding out the sad truth, that I can never be in the league, I quit playing basketball as much and soon after, I found myself being one of the worst in PE class. At times like these, I truly wish, I hadn't given up on my dream and that I atleast had some muscle on my limbs.

"Leave him alone!" I hear a familiar voice, a voice of a girl, screaming. To my surprise, but relief, I find myself collapsed against the locker a few seconds later. Whoever was the one to stop Craig from beating the life out of me, I am forever in dept to them.

Once the crowd has disappered, disappointed that there hadn't been a fight, I see only one person stay, standing there and looking down at me. It was the girl with long black hair and pink beret, who had always been known for her guts, remarkable leadership-abilites and being the most active girl in the whole school. Wendy Testaburger, who when I last checked, was still currently Stan's girlfriend. Not that them breaking up again would be much of a surprise, as they had had their on and off relationship ever since they were little.

My eyes-widen, when I finally catch on. It was her voice that screamed over all the other voices. It was her who saved me from humiliation and pain, but... why? We haven't really been getting along the best, ever since we were little, mostly to her always blaiming me for stealing Stan away from her. Which I guess I did, me being his super best friend and all.

She helps me up to my feet, not saying anything, not even looking at me. She must hate doing this right now, huh? I look at her, as she keeps her eyes looking over to the left, at basically nothing, but a hallway full of students. "Thanks," I say in almost a whisper, when the silence between us starts haunting me and she then finally looks at me.

A small smile is present on her lips, it's so small that it's almost nonexistent, but it's there. The next second it's gone and her lips form a frown again, which I have to admit, does not suit her face as much. That smile had been so dazzling, I actually could understand at that moment, why Stan wanted her on his side so much, that even when she was annoying the crap out of him, he still couldn't help himself, but go back to her once again. Just like all the previous times and the times that are yet to come.

"We need to talk," she says, her squeaky voice still the same as ever.

I just nodded in response. She then nervously glances around, before setting her eyes back on me and I understand as soon as I look into them, that whatever she wanted to discuss with me, was serious. At the back of my head, I already suspected what or _who _she wanted to talk to me about, but I ignored it for now.

Wendy then walks closer to me, so she could talk into my ear, "Meet me at Stark's park, after school," she whispers, before quickly moving away from me, so we wouldn't seem suspicous. After that, she looks straight into my eyes for the last time, before running away in a hurry. Either she doesn't want to be seen with me or she _can't_ be seen with me. I feel my stomach start turning at that thought, which suggests that there is something big going on, something that I don't know about yet.

* * *

It's windy outside and cold, so different from California. This sudden change in temperatures, is too much for my body and I can practically feel the wind going straight through me, as if I was paper-thin and nude- which I am not. I am wearing my warmest winter-coat and it's not even winter yet, but I suppose the part of me being paper-thin is sort of true. I just hope that the winter, when it does come, won't be much colder then this.

I reach Stark's pond a few minutes later and I can see from the distance, that Wendy is already there. I don't know how exactly she got here faster then me, but some questions are better left unanswered. Especially if dealing with people like Wendy Testaburger. You don't mess with people like her.

When she sees me, she waves and I hesitantly wave back. A few seconds later and I am right next to her and I mumble a quiet, "Hey," being the polite boy my mom always wanted me to be. If only she knew, actually, no, thank god she doesn't. If she knew, all the things I've done in my entire 15 years of living, I wouldn't be here right now. Especially if she new about the acid. I shudder just thinking back to that time, when we lived at San Francisco.

Wendy greets me back with a friendly smile, before her face forms back to it's usual seriousness, that I think is now a permanent expression of her face, how unfortunate. Now that I've seen that smile of hers, I just want to see more of it, only to be teased.

"You came," she simply says, before she starts ranting. She was always one to rant. "I see how they treat you at school Kyle and I feel responsible, knowing that Stan is also one of them," she begun and I was about to interrupt her, to deny what she was saying, but I couldn't. Her eyes hold such determination, such steel-hard resolution, that I suddenly felt like too much of a wuss to say anything back.

Wendy goes on, when she was sure I wouldn't interrupt her, knowing she had won. "You know, things haven't been the same since you left. It all went downhill about a month after," she explains and I feel a as if I've been stabbed in the heart, more then once. I open my mouth to say sorry, for I don't know what, but no words end up coming out of my mouth.

I think she noticed, but just didn't comment on it. Instead she goes on with her rant, "Out of nowhere there were all those rumours going around, about me and Stan, you.. even Kenny," she says, her expression suddenly darkening and adds, "There were none of Cartman."

"So it was him?" I presume, but she shakes her head, "No, but we all thought he was and.. I feel guilty now, knowing what we made him go through, even after we knew it wasn't him."

I suddenly feel out of breath, when I remember one of the things Cartman told me yesterday. Everything Wendy has said this far is exactly the same that Fatass said, but just to make sure, "So you guys revelead his biggest secret to everyone?," I asked her and I see her eyes widen with surprise, before they turn back to normal.

Wendy nods. "You talked with cartman," she simply notes outloud, before sighing softly.

"Yes, it's true Kyle, Cartman is.." she starts, but stops. She looks over at me and I nod, as a way of saying, I know and that you don't have to say it if you don't want to.

She seems to get the message and masks her face from all the emotions once more, to explain further. "After that Cartman didn't hang out with Kenny and Stan anymore and even though Stan acted like he didn't mind and said that he was glad the Fatass is gone for good, I could see how miserable he really was... that everything turned out that way."

Wendy looks away from me and instead at the pond, as if in thought and I leave her be. I have no idea how much she's been through, but I can tell, that a lot more then I have, the past couple of days. She seems so worn out, tired and out of energy, as if all the life had been sucked out of here. That is not the Wendy I remember from my childhood. It makes me sad, realising now, that while I had changed, everybody else had too and people don't always change to the better. It's the cold and undeniable truth.

* * *

After that Wendy didn't say much and we just took a walk along the pond. It was quiet and there was an air of uneasiness about, but I felt the need to be by her that time. She has that mask on now, but I know, that deep down she is hurt beyond repair and that she is easy to break. I can tell that much. I know because I, myself, have used a mask to hide what I truly feel for a really long time now. It's something that you should never do, holding everything to yourself, but it's hard not to. Especially if you know that you could hurt others if you let them see beyond the mask.

I turn around and look at Wendy and see does the same. I can see the fear in her eyes, but I can also see trust, when she looks at me. She knows she can trust me with this, she knows that I can fix this and I am grateful for her blessing. In the past all she did was blame me for the relationship troubles she had with Stan and now, now she is trusting me with him. It truly is the best feeling in the world, when an enemy of yours turn into a friend. If only it happened more often.

"Thanks," I say to her for the second time today and I see her smile, that dazzling smile of her's for the second time as well, when I say that. I smile back without even trying, the happiness just pours out of me and before I know it, we are hugging, clinging to eachother desperately. She is so warm and I feel myself melting in her arms. Suddenly my cheeks feel wet and I know then, that I am crying, but then I feel the wetness on my shoulder and I know she is too. I think we both needed this, someone to tell all our troubles to, someone who understood us- someone close to Stan.

* * *

The next morning when I am at the bus stop, I find myself standing alone again. Cartman hadn't been to school yesterday and he isn't here at the bus stop today either. I don't know why I keep thinking about him, but perhaps I just feel the need to thank him, since he did help me the other day. God knows why he did it, but nevertheless, I have to get a chance to talk him soon or otherwise, I'll be stuck with him in my thoughts all day. Well, expect that there is also now Wendy, who is in my thoughts, but there is nothing incomplete between us, not like with Cartman and me.

Soon enough I am at school again. I go straight towards my locker to get my algebra textbook, but half way there somebody walks right into my path and there is a voice in my head, that is saying, that this is not going to end well. I slowly raise my gaze, afraid to see who it was, only to see the person I least wanted to see at the moment, but someone I knew I had to face eventually.

Before me stood Stan. He didn't seem angry, nor upset, but the way he just stood infront of me and looked at me from above, told me otherwise. Infact, it actually seemed he was beyond angry and upset. When I meet his eyes, I see fire and chaos, it's so horrofying that I find myself stumbling backwards.

I almost trip on my own feet, when taking steps backwards, but Stan takes hold of my arm and pulls me back up to my feet before that happens. I look back into his eyes, but I don't see kindness or warmness, that I remember always seeing there, it's still pure chaos, unimaginable darkness. The way he so intensly stares into my eyes, as I stare into his, it feels as if there is a silent battle going on between us, something that we both don't completely understand.

Hearing his voice, brings me back from my drunken-state, due to how piercing and harsh it is. I've never heard something so menacing before and for a moment, I feel like the person before me is not Stan, but a monster from one of my nightmares.

"I saw you with Wendy yesterday," is what he says and I don't understand what he means. I am too shaken, too confused at what is going on to think properly. "You were embracing eachother," he goes on and I feel myself tense up, as his voice cranks up to a higher level of indimitation, "having a good time I presume?" He spat the last words in my face and it feels like fire, it burns my face and goes straight trough my skin and into my core. To my heart.

The next moment I hear myself stuttering, stumbling on my words, "I-I.. we were just, w-we.." That's all that left my mouth and that's when he had had enough.

"You get near her again and it'll be the last time you'll ever have the pleasure to breathe," he says and turns around, before walking away and all I can see, is his black form, leaving me behind. As soon as he is out of my sight, I fall to my knees and I break down in tears. I know by now that everyone is staring and whispering to eachother, but I doesn't matter anymore. How exactly am I supposed to fix this? Fix something, that is already long gone.

* * *

**You guys are probably wondering now, where is all the Kyman? No worries, all that starts the next chapter. Also I am kind of wondering, should I change the genres? I think this is suddenly taking a really angsty-turn. Hmm. Let me know, mkay? C:**


	8. Realisation

**Author's Note: I kind of got distracted around the middle of writing this, so I hope it isn't too obvious.  
****This chapter actually changes it's point of view from Kyle to Cartman a lot and it's not the last chapter to do so. **

**Thank you for the reviews, favs and follows- I love all of you guys. :D**  
**Especially when you point out mistakes or typos, so I can go and fix them or if you give me advice and OF COURSE, when you tell me that you like what I write! X3 **

**Go and enjoy the story now. C: **

* * *

_"...the opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy. It's not giving a damn. If somebody hates me, they must "feel" something ... or they couldn't possibly hate. Therefore, there's some way in which I can get to them." _  
_― Leo Buscaglia_

* * *

It's still friday and I am still at school, but I wish I wasn't. All the eyes are on me, judging me. I feel myself becoming dizzy with every step I take and feel the need to throw up with every breath I take. I've stopped crying by now, I think it's because I've run out of tears. I'm not sure what time it is and I'm not sure where I am heading, I'm not sure what I'm doing here or why I'm doing what I'm doing. When I stop and look up, I see the door to the counselor's office and I now remember, that I was sent here and that's where I was going. I look down again, at my hands, to see them shaking uncontrollably. I wish this was all just a bad dream and I'd wake up the next second to find myself in my bed, but I know that that isn't the case. The broken heart that I am now carrying along side me, is the proof of that. The proof of the battle I've lost.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

THE NEXT DAY AT 7PM

* * *

I sigh, as I stare at the tv, but not really watching it. It's the reruns again, of Terrance and Phillip. I can't believe I used to watch that crap. Now that I think about it, shit, I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of, now that I'm older. I sigh again, closing my eyes. The feeling of tiredness is just oozing over me and I don't know how long I can bare it. I'm just so damn tired of all that _shit. _But maybe not everything is shit, when I think about it...? _What?_

I open my eyes and stand up from the couch, before grabbing the remote and turning off the tv and then throwing it somewhere on the floor. Not everything is shit, huh? I look over to the door, I stare at it for awhile and then, as if in a blink of an eye, I am standing on someone else's doorstep. It's a house where I've been to before, but it's been a long time, too long. I laugh bitterly at that thought. Did I really just think that? Did I really just think that It's been too long since I've been to the stupid Jew-fag's house? This is just ridiculous, I should just leave before anyon-

The door opens and I feel as if I was a deer caught in headlights. I stare at the person before me, but I don't know if I should trust my eyes. What is that _thing_, what is that messed up thing before me?! Out of nowhere, I feel angry. I don't why or at what or who, but I really feel like punching something really hard. I know that I might have slight anger issues, but if anyone thinks that treatment could solve that, is a fool. I've been angry since the day I was born, there is no way anyone can _fix_ that.

"What the fuck?!" I ask noone particularly, but I see the mass before me flinch at my tone. Usually, when I see someone before me that is completely in fear of me, I feel so goddam good. Right now, I feel the opposite. I don't feel good seeing my mortal enemy in pain, why would I? Why would I feel good if it wasn't me who made him turn out like this? This shouldn't be allowed, _nobody_ should be allowed to touch him without _my_ permission. It's not like I'm possessive of him or that I actually care about that dickweed, it's like I just said, I'm just angry at the person, who did him in. I've been trying to fuck up this person's life for years, since we've been little actually and now to see him like this... It's not fair.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

Why.. why is everbody looking at me with such eyes, as if they were seeing something utterly disgusting and repulsive- Is the sight of me really that upsetting? Oh, oh yeah.. _not everyone changes for the better_, right? I guess I didn't either. I was probably too distracted by everything happening around me, to notice what was happening to myself. What _did_ happen to me? I don't ever remember being in such loss before, confusion, uncertainty- did I lose my mind and go insane, is who I am seeing before me now just a figment of my imagination? How can I be sure in anything? How can I be sure if this is real, if I'm real? I think I'm real, but I'm not completely sure. I don't think there _is_ a way to be completely sure. We might as well be just someone else's thoughts or fantasies, there is no way for us to know.

Before I can even react, I'm being pushed aside by that hallucination of mine and it doesn't even ask me if it can come into my house, before they do. Wow, I really am pathetic, being pushed around, by something that doesn't even exist. That might just be a record, I should check. Or instead, I should _check_ myself in to a mental hospital. I'm sure they'd accept me, I've been there before, though the last time I wasn't actually insane and people just thought I was. I don't blame them, really, Mr. Hankey wasn't that well-know at that time, due to there being Santa Claus. A piece of Poo and Santa Claus, who do you think would win?

I turn around, to see what it's doing. It's walking over to the couch in the livingroom and soon is sitting down on it. Without even realsing, I'm sitting down with him and watching tv. Some stupid show about farting is on, it looks familiar. Oh... I used to be a big fan, I remember now. Terrance and Phillip, right? One time I almost went pshyco to get the dolls and- My head snaps to the left and my eyes widen, when I recognize the person before me. It's someone I know all too well.

"Cartman...?"

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

* * *

I hear that pathetic kike call out my name and I face him, to see his eyes swell up with tears. I don't feel like laughing, like I thought I would. Something inside me feels like it's aching, something inside my body, in my chest. Somehow I feel even worse, I don't feel angry anymore, I just feel saddness. For what? Maybe I'm sad to finally know for sure that there is no chance for me to break him, since he is already broken. It's as if my life has no purpose now... Since when did my life revolve around him? When I think about it, then probably ever since we were little. I always thought of ways to beat him, to be better then him and then later piss him off even further by gloating in his face about my victory. It was always him who I thought of, when making up another plan. Hours of preparation and sleepless nights, it was all because of him, that I tried my best.

Staring into his annoyingly green eyes, I feel my own arm raise and soon my hand is cupping his face. What is my body doing now? I know what I am doing, but I don't stop. He looks confused and even more confused when I cup his face with my other hand as well. Soon our faces are so close, that I can feel his warm breath on mine and it's suddenly so hot in this room. I keep staring into his emerald eyes and he keeps staring into mine, it almost feel like a staring contest, but not at the same time. Suddenly I have this urge to touch his forehead with mine and I do, our foreheads are touching now and we are even closer now. I don't know what I am doing, but I don't want to stop. I want to get even closer, closer to him, so I could understand. Why or how, what happened to him? Can I put the pieces back together?

I sigh for the umpteenth time today and I lean back, my hands still holding onto his face, before they remove themselves as well and fall to my sides. I keep my eyes on him, to see his reaction, but he still seems so confused, perhaps even more confused then before. When he doesn't do anything, I finally looks away from his hypnotizing eyes, those cursing grass colored eyes and I set mine back on the tv screen. Commercials, is what I see are going on, but I don't really care. If the Jew doesn't want to tell me wants wrong, then he can go die somewhere. I mean, it's not like I care or anything, I was just slightly taken aback, that's all.

Soon I feel the couch raise slighly, as if some weight had been lifted from it and before I can look and see what's caused it, someone is already standing before me. It's him, that stupid Jew. He is blocking my vision of the tv, that I wasn't watching to begin with, but I still go and on say, "You're in the way, Kahl." He keeps staring at me, with those big sad eyes and my mouth curls into a snarl. What does he want from me, what the hell is is that he is asking of me?! The sight of him, looking at me with such pleading eyes, it makes something inside me that was already aching, ache even more.

"-ease."

I snap out of my thoughts, when I hear him say something. "What?" I ask him, my brows furrowed and fists shaking, still wanting to punch something.

"Please.." he says in almost a whisper and my fists stop shaking and unclench when I hear him say that word.

Are my ears in working order or am I perhaps delusional? No fucking way did he just beg, but... I look up and down at the small body before me and I know realise, that indeed, that _thing _is most certainly messed up and that asking me for help, isn't that surprising when looking at it from a logical point of view. Okay, now let's think about it one more time. Jew the douchebag, jersey scum and a ginger, maybe a fag, too- is asking me, Eric Cartman, for help. Yup, that's sounds about right, definitely _nothing_ wrong in this picture.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

I look down at him, as he sits on my couch. He seems deep in thought and for once I know exactly what he is thinking. _'Is he fucking serious?' _or _'Has he gone completely bonkers?'_ is what I imagine he is thinking, perhaps something different, but I can't imagine what. As if on cue, he looks at me again and I freeze, my mind going blank. My heart starts pumping faster, I am scared, fearing what he would say.

"Fine."

I blink my eyes and keep staring at him, he sighs and he thinks I probably didn't hear him, so he repeats what he just said, "_Fine._" This time with a louder and clearer voice. Again I find myself crying and I quickly brush the new tears away with my hands, so the salty lyquid wouldn't find it's way to my mouth, but they just wont stop coming. I end up buring my face in my hands and shielding my vision from Cartman's questioning eyes. I keep sobbing and that's all I hear in the otherwise silent room, before that is, I hear him talk again.

"Crying won't solve anything, you know."

My quiet mumble was probably not even heard through my own sobs, "W-wha... what?" is what came from my lips, as I try to make sense of what's going on and why I am crying again.

Before I know what's going on, I feel strong arms around me and I stop sobbing for a moment from the shock. I'm in the embrace of someone who I used to hate, but yet, I am not pushing him away. Due to how short I am compared to his large body, my head reaches to his chest and I can hear his heartbeat. It's so calming and I feel myself relax in his hold. I start sobbing once more, but this time I can hear the beating of his heart in my ears, too and not only myself crying. I should feel even weaker and worse, being hugged by him, but I don't.

The hug is so much different from the one I had with Wendy the other day. There isn't any less heart in this one, no, it actually might have more. Somehow the feeling of being hugged, held, by someone so much bigger and stronger then me, makes me feel safe and secure. It's almost like I am trusting my life with them, since they could break me in half the next second if they only wished to do so, but I know deep in my heart, that they won't do that. I don't know how I know that, but I do and I smile slightly to myself, when I ear his heart beat in a faster rate, matching my own. It's suddenly so warm in this room and inside me, where it was just a few moments ago so cold.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

* * *

It's suffocatingly hot and I feel myself becoming dizzy, but I don't let go of the now limp body that's in my arms, as I fall backward onto the couch. He is in my arms, in my lap and sobbing- my mortal enemy. He is defenseless, weak and I could end him right here and now, but I don't. I think I now realise, why I haven't done him in all these years, even though I've had so many opportunities. It's all so clear to me now, the way I'm acting right now and how I've acted towards him my whole life. Perhaps I didn't feel like that right from the beginning, but I think it turned into this feeling at some point and I just didn't realise, since the two are actually quite similiar. They are both passionate feelings towards that one person and that one person is always in your thoughts, do you want them to be or not, doesn't matter.

He stops crying at some point, I'm not sure how long after. From the way his breathing, the calmness of it, hints to the fact that he is sleeping. He is sleeping in my arms and as I look down at him, I feel my own cheeks becoming hotter, when I see the peaceful expression on his face. It's been a long time since I've seen such an expression on his face, _too long. _He seems somewhat happy and I feel somewhat proud, knowing it's me who made him happy in the first place. I chuckle and I feel him stir in his sleep when my chest moves from my laughing and I smile down at him. Sweet dream, Jew.

* * *

2 HOURS LATER

* * *

It's so dark outside that I can see the stars, as I am making my way back home. I feel almost giddy, dare I say, thinking back to what had happened a few hours ago. Now I think I might still be slightly confused about my feelings, but I think that I can clearly say that I don't _hate_ the Jew, atleast not anymore. Maybe I am being too quick on changing my view on him, but then again, what's stopping me? I know what he is going through at the moment, I've been past that stage. Loosing all your_ friends_ at the same damn time and not even getting an explanation, It's hard and it took me a damn long time to get over it as well. I don't even want to think what their making him go through. If it's the same they did to me, then I can most definitely relate.

I frown, thinking back to last year, back to when it started. I still don't know what triggered it or who, but out of nowhere, everyone were ganging up on me, blaiming me for something i didn't know the fuck about. None of them believed me, but then again, it's not like I know _what_ they were blaiming me for, since they never told me, so who knows, maybe it was some prank from long ago they recently discovered. Though, I don't remember doing anything that bad, to get that kind of a reaction. For gods sake, I've killed people before and nobody freaked out that much at those times! So what the hell could it have been?!

Feeling furious from thinking back to that again, I fish for a cigarette pack and soon have one in my hands. Smoking is something I picked up at one point and I ended up liking it, finding it relaxing. It makes my head clear and I find my brain working in more order as well. I don't really care for my health that much, to worry about all the diseases I _might_ get, especially those that _might_ kill me once I'm old and withered away, when I don't want to be alive anymore to begin with. Heh, this remind me of that_ prick's_ grandfather, who I think is still alive actually, even after all those attempts of suicide. Must suck, poor guy. If I had the choice, I'd _gladly_ kill that old fuck, but I don't.

After a few minutes later and two smokes down I'm back at home, cold and empty. I discard my hat and throw it somewhere on the floor, before making my way to the kitchen. It's a mess there, but I find some cheesy poofs right away and I stuff em in my face, as soon as the cigarette is out of the way. The taste of smoke isn't helping with the flavour, but neither is the salty taste of my tears. I don't know when I started crying again, but I did and the salty taste of them is making me sick. I promised myself I wouldn't cry again, but here I am, in this _bad excuse_ of a home, stuffing my face with unhealthy snacks and crying rivers.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

I wake up to find myself on the floor of my livingroom with a splitting headache. I must of cried myself to sleep again, but how exactly did I get downstairs? I slowly stand up and walk over to the lightswitch and flick it on, so I could look at the clock on the wall. It's past nine. That's doesn't really tell me much. I walk over to the couch, since I am not tired enough to go upstairs and go to bed instead, seeing as I already slept. Before I can plop myself down on the couch, I am taken aback by a coat that is on the floor, next to the spot I had been laying on. Did someone cover me with it so I wouldn't be cold as I slept, but who? I was supposed to be alone at home tonight, since my parents went to a nice dinner with Ike and should probably be over at some fancy hotel tonight.

Before coming to any hasty conclusions I look around the house and indeed it is empty. After heading back to the couch again, I pick up the coat and bring it to my face, getting some strange urge to sniff it for some reason. Sniffing it, I find the smell familiar, it belongs to someone I know, but who? Who could it... Wait, cheesy poofs? I gasp, suddenly remembering everything that had happened prior to me falling asleep. Falling asleep? When did I fall asleep actually? I remember being in Cartman's embrace, unusual as it is, but I don't remember anything further. No wait, I somehow remember falling. Right, we fell. We fell on the couch I presume and then, I guess I fell asleep then?

I gasp even louder and I feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks, when I realise. I fell asleep on Cartman's _lap_. I can't believe it, I actually fell asleep on his lap, on his lap.. on his lap?! I must of not been in the right state of mind, to do something like that. He must of tricked me or something. No way I fell asleep like that, but then again, I do remember clearly, that I cried and I... begged him? What was I asking from him exactly, I'm not completely sure. It wasn't anything important, I guess. If it was, I'll remember eventually.

* * *

**More hugging in this one, haha. Sorry. I just really love hugs! :')  
Tho, no kissing just yet you guys, it's kind of too early for that, so just hang on and be patient. Maybe a kiss will come soon if you wish hard enough~? :U**


	9. Somebody to share with

**Author's Note: I swear that I tried to make it long, but it just didn't happen. Sorry. :U**  
**This chapter is on a more lighthearted note.**

**Thank you for the reviews, favs and follows, I appreciate them all.**  
**Now go on and enjoy the story. : D**

* * *

_"They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same." _  
_― Edna St. Vincent Millay_

* * *

It's sunday, 4pm and I just woke up. Ugh, of course I waste away the only two days I don't have to go to school by sleeping, how typical. Then again, I did watch tv until the sunrise, so it's not that surprising. My limbs ache slightly and I wince when I stretch to get the tiredness out of my body. Maybe I should start working out again, get my body into shape. They do say, that when your body is in working order, then soon enough your mind will be as well. I doubt it's true, but I figure I should give it a shot anyway... but not today. Maybe tomorrow. Those are the thoughts that run trough my head, as I limp my way to the bathroom.

After my usual '_morning'_ routine, I go back to my room and sit down behind my desk. Might as well see what's up in the internet. Before going on any sites, I look at my web history, just to see what I've been up to. I tend to forget some good sites and never visit them, only to discover them later again and feel like a moron. Once I open my history, I finally remember something I've put aside for quite a while now. That friend request.

_I am shocked, when I go to the settings in my facebook account to delete my account and instead I see I have a new friend request. And I am even more shocked, when I find out it's from Cartman. "No way, he is just.." I mumble to myself, thinking he is just planning to humiliate me again somehow. I ignore the friend request for now, not sure if to decline or accept, even though my mind is saying decline over and over again._

I go back to my facebook page, which I still haven't deleted and look at that friend request again. Should I accept it, just for the heck of it? I ponder on that thought for awhile, but jump when I suddenly hear my phone vibrate on the desk. What the- I take the small device into my hands and unlock the screen, only to see, that I have a message, from someone unknown. Nobody should know my phonenumber, so who the hell could it be? Someone probably just messed up the number or something like that, right? When I open the message to read it, I am proven wrong. It is definitely someone who knows me and think have an idea about who it is.

**Sunday, 5:22pm from Unknown:  
Meet me infront of the Church at 6pm, we need to talk, sweet pea~! ;)**

Sweet pea, it's a nickname_ a friend _of mine gave me once. I despise it. Not because of the person who gave it to me, but because it just sounds so stupid. I've never liked nicknames to begin with, so I guess that's that.

After placing my phone back on the desk, since I probably won't be needing it, I look back at the screen of my precious laptop. There it is, accept or decline? Making up my mind, I click and shut my laptop as soon as that is over with. Enough internet for now. There is more then enough time, until that person wants to meet with me at the church, but I guess I could go and grab a bite downstairs before I head out. If that's who I think it is, then it wouldn't hurt to meet up with them, especially since they got a lot of explaining to do. I just hope that when they type talk, they mean talk and not just threatening or warning me.

* * *

TIMESKIP

* * *

It's about 6pm and I am standing in the freezing cold, all alone, infront of the chruch. Hope that bastard shows up soon or I'll end up freezing to death. Once again, I haven't put enough clothes on. It's about time I should get used to the weather around here, but no such luck. I'd put some random old hat on, it's tattered, but good enough to keep most of the wind away and the coat I am wearing is my dad's, since I couldn't find any of my own. They might be in one of those boxes that have some of my stuff in it, but I've not unpacked those yet. Figured they don't have anything inside them I need right now, but perhaps there are, like a warm winter coat, which is an _actual_ winter coat, which _actually_ protects you from the cold!

"You've been waiting for long, sweetie?" I hear and turn around, only to be face to face with Kenny.

I glare at him for a moment, but right after soften my look, sigh and mumble a half-hearted, "Come on," before turning my back to him and heading in the direction of Stark's pond. I like having a walk in that direction. I'm sure he didn't make any plans anyway and walking instead of standing in the cold, is something I'd definitely prefer. Seeing the soft smile on his lips from the corner of my eye, tells me that he prefers that as well. Maybe he was thinking of having a walk with me, too, but I beat him to it. Heh, well, we did used to be friends. I now frown, knowing that that's what he probably wanted to talk to me about in the first place.

There is silence for a couple of minutes and I start to feel nervous and fidgety, though the latter might just be from cold, but who knows at this point. I glanze over at him and decide to break the ice, with a simple question, "So, how did you get my number?"

He seemed surprised when he suddenly heard me talk, but then a familair smirk crosses his lips and he answers.

"I have my ways,"

"Ways...?" I ask, hesitantly.

The way I had asked that must of been over the top, because the next moment, he is laughing rather loudly and actually stops in his tracks to hold onto his stomach and catch his breath. I stop as well and turn towards him with my whole body, crossing my arms.

"What the hell is so funny?" I ask him through my teeth, trying my best to ask that in my calmest voice possible.

Kenny laughs for a few more seconds before calming down and then he looks at me, with eyes, that seem almost as if they were smiling. It was genuine happiness on his face and I was caught of guard for a moment. Atleast it looka genuine.

"Man, would you just look at us, so quiet and tense around eachother. It's as if we weren't former friends, but enemies."

"What?"

"Kyle, you still remember what I told you on the rooftop? You know, before I was interrupted and all."

"Uh... yeah?"

I'm not sure where he is going at, but all I remember from the time we last spoke, that he told me to stop trying. Did he just call me here, so he could restate that. If that's the case, I don't need any more convising. I've already given up. Stan and Kenny both, have made it clear enough for me, that we are over. I'm done running after them like a lost puppy.

"Well, just forget that ever happened."

What. "What?" What. What... what?!

He chuckles, walking over to me and then raises his hand and holds it in front of me, in the air. It's as if he's asking me to shake it. Is that it? I look at his hand and then I look up into his eyes. They don't look cunning or mischievous, like I thought they'd look like. He's serious?! This has got to be a prank.

"Look, dude, I know you must be really confused and all-" no shit, "but I'm tired of all this pretending to not want to be your friend. I miss you, man."

I look into his eyes again and stare into them for a rather long time, until I finally give in and shake his hand. I look back at his face and he looks darn happy with himself, he is practically shining. I swear, if this really is a prank, I'll bash his teeth in and sell them to the toothfairy.

"I knew you'd give in eventually!" he exclaims, throwing his arms around my neck and making himself so heavy, I almost fall over. The fact that he is taller and bigger then me, doesn't help. A smile covers my lips, though almost invisible, I think he noticed, because in the next moment, he is staring right at me, with a smile of his own.

"No homo," I whisper jokingly and he smirks, before whispering back, "All the homo."

It's almost as if we never stopped being friends and that thought is oddly really tear-jerking, but I hold it in. No homo, means _no homo,_ meaning no tears. I've cried enough the past couple of days, it's time I man up already and turn back to my usual self. Though, now that we are friends again with Kenny, I have many questions I want answers to and he better give me something. All I've gotten from Wendy and Cartman combined thus far, is that there were rumours, blaiming, lying and some other stuff better left unmentioned, but nothing clear and straightforward.

After that heartwarming(?) moment, we both decided it would be for the best, if we went over to my house, to get some warmth into out bodies. It's the late autumn, so it's gotten pretty cold outside. The weather is often windy and rainy, so it's better to just stay indoors. Not to mention all the mud and puddles.

I look over from my laptop at the bundled mess that is on my bed. Somehow Kenny had managed to get my blanket around him almost as if it was a cocoon, it looked rather silly, but I guess since his house doesn't have heating, he needs much warming up to do. Looking back at my laptop screen, I hear Kenny mumbling something in the backround and I look back at him and ask, "Huh?"

He then tries again, "Mphmm mphmmmm mphm mhpmmmm mphmm mphmmmmm mphm," is what I hear him say, through the blanket. After translating it in my head, that is what I heard, "If I didn't already know what heaven was like, this would be my best guess."

If I wasn't someone who happened to know Kenny for a long time, since kindergarden, I probably wouldn't of gotten anything he said right now. Hearing him talk through his orange parka for most of my life, I've come to undestand his muffled talk. I'm pretty sure most of the town understand his muffled talk by now, not that it's necessary anymore, since he has gotten rid of his parka. I never learned the story behind it now that I think about it, but my mind wanders somewhere else after that thought.

I wonder how Kenny's family life is right now. Hopefully it's nothing worse then it already was before I left. Not to mention he has a little sister, Karen, I believe and she is not immortal like Kenny. If I remember right, she should be around the same age as Ike, maybe they go to the same class? I should ask him about if after he gets home.

"Say, you mind if I ask you a personal question?" I ask, after thinking for a while and after getting a positive response, I go on, "How've you been doing?"

The silence after that was a little awkward, to say the least and Kenny was quiet for a couple of minutes, until that is, he rolls himself out of my blanket and lands on my floor instead, with a loud and audible thud. Worried that he'd gotten hurt, I quickly stand up from my chair and crouch to his level, but he turns out to be okay, when he sits up next to me and motions for me to do the same. After making myself more comfortable on the floor, I look expectatly at Kenny.

* * *

TIMESKIP

* * *

It's a little past 8pm now and Ike and my parents have arrived back home. Dad is in his study, Mom is making something warm to eat and Ike is watching hockey again(I'll never get sports fans, I can keep trying, but I doubt I'll ever get it). They arrived about half an hour ago, so they've just made themselves comfortable, but it's not like I give a damn. There is something I need to ask Ike, no matter what. I can't even image his face when I'll ask him _that_, but I'm sure I'll enjoy it to the fullest.

With my best poker face(I've been practicing), I make my way to the couch and sit down. He pays no attention to me, until I clear my throat, to which he simply raises his brow to. I smirk, narrowing my eyes for a moment, before clearing my face of any emotions once more. I wouldn't want to get caught now, would I?

"Sooo... Ike," I start, stretching the o, as I do so. He seems suspicious, but he holds his ground and doesn't answer. Alright, I guess I'll have to be a little tougher on him, even blunt.

"Is there a girl that you like?" I ask him, with my most innocent voice.

His whole face is now turned in my direction and he's even lowered the volume with the remote in his hand. "What are you on about?" he asks me harshly, but I can tell that he is scared, I can smell his fear in the air. How delicious.

I tip my head to the side and look at him with faked confusion, "Oh, what ever could you mean, dear brother?" I ask him, a voice so sweet and sugary, something I usually would use to beg my dad for allowance for.

He has now completely muted the tv and it's completely silent in the room, excluding the noises coming from the kitchen, where mom is preparing some food for all of us. It's so quiet, I can hear his uneven breathing.

Ike doesn't buy my feigned confusion and innocence and he crosses his arms across his chest, his face now completely serious. Dead serious, may even be more accurate. Oh, he is scared alright. I can already taste the sweetness of revenge, which is already at the tip of my tongue, just waiting to blossom and fill my whole mouth with it's sweetness.

"No, there is no girl that I like," he says. I know that he is bluffing, _I know_, because I got my info from the most reliable source.

Placing my finger on my lower lip, I ask him, "Is that so?" The face he makes at my act, is priceless and before he can voice another 'no' I go on, riding on my victory, a well deserved one, may I add. "Because I heard, that you have this little crush on a girl called Karen," I begun, but paused to look at his shocked expression, before continuing, "I even heard, that you asked her out or did I hear wrong?"

Ike's face is now completely pale, emotionless, colorless- completely blank. For a moment, I thought that I had broken him, but then it all surfaced. In a split second his face was completely red and it was a side I've never seen him have before. So instead of bursting out laughing right away, I stared at him for a minute... and then started laughing out loud.

Regaining his senses, Ike pushed me off the couch and hurried out of the room, cursing something that I didn't quite catch and I ended up rolling on the floor and laughing, until tears were flowing out of my eyes and my stomach started to be a pain in the ass. Right after that my mom came to see what was wrong and after ressuring her I was fine for a couple of times, she told me that the stew was ready and I could come and eat.

That was the most fun I've had in a long time and when I go back to my room and check my phone, to see a message that says:

**Sunday, 8:14pm from Kenny:  
Did it work, he freaking out? Man, I wish I could be there and see the look on his face! ;D**

It makes me even happier, knowing I can share it with somebody else.

**Sunday, 8:14pm to Kenny:  
****YH, wish ya could of seen it, too! It was awesome! Thnx. XD**

* * *

**I really enjoy writing sibling interact with eachother, can you tell? :3**  
**Tell me if you don't enjoy it, I can always write a little less of it, if it bothers anyone.**

**On another note, hey, who would of guessed, Kenny is now friends with Kyle again! -but Kyle is still left out of the loop, woop-ti-doo~! **

**Oh and I bet you guys were hoping for Kyman, sorry for none of that, but there will be some next chapter, so no worries! : 3**


	10. Jealousy

**Author's Note: Um, so... hey there. :')**

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows, favs - I appreciate them all.**

**Hope you enjoy what I have for you next, thank you.**

* * *

_"Jealousy is, I think, the worst of all faults because it makes a victim of both parties."_  
_-Gene Tierney_

* * *

It's the glorious monday again, a school day. I just_ can't_ wait to go back to school and to the _friendly_ people waiting for me there, to tell me some _kind_ words to brighten up my day. Alright, enough of sarcasm. It's a little past 7am at the moment and I just got a text from Kenny, where he asked me to eat lunch with him today, which I agreed to, since I saw no problem with that. Eating alone is something I've been doing a lot for a few days now, so it would be nice to eat together with a friend for once, like I used to.

This time I am actually taking the phone with me to school, since I have a reason to carry it with me now, which I am of course really excited about. That doesn't mean I'll be texting Kenny as soon as the bell rings though, but it does mean texting during boring lectures, during which I usually just stare out the window or doodle in one of my notebooks anyway.

Once I've eaten breakfast and done everything else my morning routine consist of, I head out to go to the bus stop. When I reach it, I am pleasantly surprised by Kenny being there, but I am also intrigued by what Cartman's been up to the last couple of days and to see him finally be at the bus stop for once, seems to be a good opportunity to ask him, but then again... will I be able to?

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

* * *

Trying my best to ignore the presence of that one guy I kind of despise, I look over to the side, so I wouldn't have to look at him, but then I spot someone else in the distance, approaching us. From far away, I can already tell that it's the Jew, because of his tiny figure and red fiery hair- but perhaps also, because nobody else really uses the bus anymore, except for middle schoolers and us, I guess.

When the Jewrat gets closer, I note that he seems to be burning up. Oh jeez, did he get a cold? For fuck's sake, I even covered him up with my warm coat and walked home practicly freezing, but you don't see me coughing or sneezing, do you? Once he gets close enough, I am going to scold the hell out of him.

Not even a minute later and he is standing next to me or well, more accurately, between me and '_the one who's name I am not going to mention_'. Before I could even open my mouth, the two have started a conversation and I'm more then pissed. What the hell. How dare they just ignore me like that?! Not only that, Kyle just walked past me like I wasn't even there. I atleast expected him to mouth a short greeting or I don't know, thank me perhaps? I was there for him, when he was a in a state of weakness and did not take advantage of that, but instead comforted him. _I comforted him and that's how he repays me?!_

"Oy, Jew."

They stop their conversation, when I interrupt them and turn their heads in my direction. The blondie has this annoying smirk on his face, as per usual and I am trying my hardest to not punch it again- and the Jew just looks blank as a paper. Did he really catch a cold or what? He looks so goddamn pale. If he was sick, he should of just stayed home, but then again, his mom is such a bitch she probably wouldn't of let him stay home anyway, so nevermind.

"You sick or what?"

He looks at me, with a look of pure confusion, before asking, "...What?" in the most lost and questioning voice possible.

"That's what I'm asking."

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KENNY

* * *

I look at my two friends, if you can call Cartman one of them, starting something up again. I am amused, but also relived. It seems these two are still talking to eachother, so it means Kyle wasn't completely alone and miserable during the past few days. Well, actually, he probably was still pretty miserable, seeing as it's Cartman, but atleast he wasn't lonely.

"Fuck you, fatass," I hear eventually, after zoning out and can't stop myself from snorting, which gains me the attention of two people. Kyle is just glaring at me, but '_fatass_' is pushing my buttons, with his comments about how poor I am. It doesn't really help, that my last death was caused by him, but not wanting to die again so soon, I keep myself from jumping at him and instead make a comment of my own, "says the guy whos only income is from his mother's whoring."

Knowing that it was a low blow, I expected the outcome, which was his fist in my face, again. This time there wasn't any roofs to fall off from, to my luck, but I think I heard something crack at the impact. I curse loudly and hiss, falling onto the cold hard ground and I'm pretty sure my nose is bleeding by now. Yup, it is. Fuck. Oh and I just realised, I landed in a puddle, so now I am all wet as well. Wonderful.

"-Kenny!" Kyle yelps, not seeing that coming and rushes over to me in an instant, to my aid. How cute. I'll have to remember to tease him about that later.

"Sweet pea," I answer him, trying my best to keep a smirk on my face, but I don't think it's fooling him.

The look he gives me startles me a little. It's full of so much concern and worry, it's something I'm not used to seeing. If Kyle was a chick, I think I'd be all over him by now, but he is not, he just slightly reminds me of one. He lacks any muscles, he has shorter hair now, that frames his face perfectly and he is tinier then any guy I've seen, that is our age. Not to mention those big green eyes of his, that are so expressive and full of emotion. Well damn, if I didn't know any better, I'd think I was falling for him.

I unconsciously lick my lips, as I look him over one more time and before I know it, he's helped me up to my feet and we are already stepping onto the bus. When it arrived, I have no idea, but I'm glad it did, before I would of done something I'd later regret. Not that I haven't done something I regret by now.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

* * *

What. The. Fuck. I knew that that scum was a slut, but for him to go that far? I don't even know anymore. Before me, that stupid blond, is rather openly checking out the completely oblivious Jew, like there was no tomorrow. If the red-head wasn't so worried about him, I would of already ripped him to pieces by now. Speaking of the Jew, since when does he get along with that prick again? There is definitely something I'm missing here and I don't like it. They look too darn close to eachother, for people who used to hate eachother's guts just a few days ago. Well, not really hate eachother, but they were definitely not getting along either.

Before I can interrupt whatever moment they were having, the bus arrives and I make my way inside. Once I had taken my seat, I see them come in aswell and take a seat in the way front, _next to eachother._ For some reason, it makes me unbelievably angry.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

After the busride, we all seperate. None of us have the first period together. Sadly, when talking to Kenny on the bus, I learned that we don't share any classes at all, like completely none, so I'll have to either find him during the breaks or wait until the lunch. Sigh, why does Cartman share so many classes with me, but not Kenny? It's as if it was some kind of sick joke. Cartman is someone I am definitely trying to stay clear of, for the rest of my life. Just seeing his face at the bus stop was too much for me, I couldn't stop myself from thinking back to saturday and I'm pretty positive, that he noticed my blush this morning. God, now I'm completely certain, that he thinks I'm a fag. So, why? Why do I have to spend almost the whole day with him?!

Like I expected, Cartman is bothering me again. It's the second period and he has turned his whole body in my direction, talking about something, which I am not paying attention to. Seriously, does none of the teacher's give a crap? Everytime we are in the same classroom, Cartman pays almost no attention to what the teacher is saying and starts a conversation with me, which makes me unable to pay attention as well.

"You listening, Jew?" Cartman asks, bringing me back to reality. For a moment I think of just nodding, but then I end up saying, "No," anyway. He clicks his tongue at my answer, but he doesn't seem as pissed as I thought he would be, hearing me say that.

For a moment he seems deep in thought, but then he looks back at me and opens his mouth, asking me something, that I most definitely wasn't expecting. "Am I the first one to have gotten the 'lap service' or what?"

The tone in which he asked me that wasn't joking, but it wasn't completely serious either. I'm not sure how he wants me to reply to that, so I just keep quiet and avert my gaze from him. He can't really be expecting me to answer to that, right? Wrong.

"Kahl, I don't think I catched that."

Crap, he actually wants me to say something. Wait... why am I freaking out so much anyway? I mean, it's not like I fell asleep on his lap on purpose or anything. He was the one who hugged me out of no where. Oh, right. He did, didn't he? He hugged me.

Without intending to, my gaze is back on Cartman and I am full on staring at him. I think it's making him uncomfortable, but I don't really care at the moment.

"Why did you hug me?" I ask him and for a moment he looks at me, as if he didn't understand what I was asking, before he goes wide-eyed and completely red in the face. I don't think his red from anger for once and that realisation, makes me go red as well and also, not from anger.

We stare at eachother for quite a while, not saying anything, before cartman speaks up again, "I don't know..." he says, in almost a whisper and I leave it be for now. It's getting awkward for some reason, for the both of us, so we just stop talking to eachother for the rest of the class.

The third an fourth period Cartman didn't bother me once. I was glad, but also not. It's lunch time and during the last minute of fourth period, Kenny told me to go and eat lunch with him on the roof. Since nobody really goes there, I figured it be nice, seeing as people are still acting pretty shitty towards me, though not as much anymore. I hope the last thing I just thought, won't backfire on me. Most of the time, when you think things like, '_it can't get any worse then that,_' for example, it always does.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

* * *

Seeing the Jew, who I still own an answer to, go upstairs, I figured I'd follow him. Soon I find myself on the roof. It was all too familiar and once I open the door to it, I am met with a picture, that makes it even more familiar. '_The one who's name will not be mentioned_' is with the Jew, again, _all alone_. I don't know why I thought the last part, but I'll ignore it for now. I have all the time in the world, to figure out what exactly I'm feeling for that Jewrat and now's not exactly the best of times for that.

The sight of the two, sitting right next to eachother, thighs touching and eating lunch together, it's sickening. I can hear them laughing about something and it looks almost as if... I shake my head at that thought and look back at their figures, only to look away again. Why is all this pissing me off that much? I mean, I know I certainly feel something for the Jew, but this is just too much. Maybe this _is_ the right time to figure out what exactly I feel for him, before it's too late.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KENNY

* * *

I find it more then amusing, knowing that we're being watched, by a certain fatass. I had found the way he acted in the morning slightly strange, but now, I think I've figured it out. This is going to be fun. Thinking that, I knowingly press myself even closer to Kyle and from the corner of my eye, I can see Cartman turning away his gaze from us. I can't, this is just too hilarious. I can't believe that fatso is _jealous!_

"-and after that, he ran out of the livingroom like the wind, swearing and cussin like never before," Kyle goes on and I nod my head, to signal him to go on, before I set my eyes back on the lardo, who still hasn't moved from the door. Hmm, maybe I should knock it up a notch, ay?

Slowly, so Kyle wouldn't notice, I bring my arm up and around him. I firmly hold onto his waist with on of my hands and then bring my other hand to his chin, to hold up his head. He stops mid sentence and stares at me, confused and slightly alarmed. I can't see the look on Cartman's face at me moment, but I'm sure it's for the best, that I don't get distracted at the moment.

Before Kyle can wiggle out of my grasp, I bring his face closer to mine and with my other arm, press him even closer to my body, so he is tehnically on my lap by now. He looks at me with questioning eyes, but I can see a blush creeping onto his face, which makes me want to break the act and tease him instead, but perhaps this isn't enough and I should go further then that. Without giving Kyle time to react or even an explanation, I press our lips together.

I hear the sound of footsteps coming in our direction, but I don't falther and instead, deepen the kiss, closing my eyes. Kyle isn't resisting, probably in too much of a shock, which is good, since it makes it seem, like he is not against this and makes is more believable. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, just so the two idiots could realise what they're feeling for eachother.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

Wha... What is happening? I think, when I find myself in Kenny's lap, one of his arms around me, other proping up my head and our lips locked. I am too shocked to react, to pull away, to do anything. I just sit in his hold, like a rock, motionlessly. But, before I can register what has happened, I hear a moan. It was me who moaned and the shock from hearing that, finally makes me come to my senses and I start to struggle.

To my surprise, Kenny let's me go without even a fight and as I stand on my shaking legs and beet-red face, I suddenly realise, that we're not alone. I see a shadow loom over Kenny's body and when I raise my gaze, I see Cartman... what is he doing here?! Oh no, shit, fuck! I'm not sure what to think, say, do- I just stand like a statue, except that I am shaking like a leaf and my heart is beating faster then ever.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ CARTMAN

* * *

Trying my best to look away, I stare at nothing, but soon I can't resist any longer and my eyes are back on the two. What I didn't see coming and what I didn't not expect to see, was them being even closer then before. They are too damn close, what the hell is going on? It almost seems like the Jew and Blondie are...

Without finishing that thought, I am already walking over to the two and the closer I get, the more it seems that they are ki- doing that thing, that stars with a K. I don't feel angry, for some unexplainable reason, but instead I feel anxious and perhaps I'm even scared. I don't what I'm in fear of, but I do have an idea. I just hope they aren't doing, what I think they are and it just seems that way because of the angle. However, I know, that life is never that easy.

Not even a few seconds later and I'm already towering over them. I guess they noticed my presence, since they've now parted. I stand over the blondie, too much of a coward, to look over at the _red-head_. Just then I remember, the question the latter asked me in the morning. 'Why did you hug me?' was it not. I didn't know the answer then, but I think I know what it is now. It's really simple really and quite obvious, I don't know what took me so long, to find it. Perhaps seeing _that_, made me come to my senses, but I'm not sure if to be glad of that or not. Somehow it feel more like the latter.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

I'm shaking and I can't stop, my heart is hammering in my chest in an incredible rate, I'm sweating more then after a PE lesson and my eyes are glued to the person standing in front of me. He is not even looking at me and that makes me feel even worse, I feel quilty, but I don't know why. I don't even remember how or what happened, but I feel like I've sinned and now, here before me, stands the Judge. I'd lower my head, but I can't, my body isn't in my control any more.

"-you," I then hear the Judge say and my heart skips a beat, though it might of been two, I'm not so sure. Before I can even have a moment to explain myself, he is running away from me and I think of running after him, but my legs are rooted in place. I then feel my cheeks becoming wet. Not again, I think, knowing that I am crying. I thought that for sure, I was done with that, but it's evident now, that I'm not.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KENNY

* * *

Oh fuck. I think I might of gone too far with this. I look up at the sobbing Kyle and then turn my head, to see Cartman running off into the distance. This isn't what I wanted to happen at all, nope, this is the opposite of that. Well then, I think I'm definitely not cut out to be the cupid, not even close. Time to put aside the bow and arrows.

Not much time later, Kyle has also left and I'm left all alone on the roof. I think, I might of made a big mistake and I don't trust myself to fix this. Shit. Then what am I supposed to do exactly? Ask for help? Who the help would be willing to help exactly?! I think the hole I've digged for myself, is too damn deep.

* * *

**So I promised some Kyman and kissing soon, but I didn't say what I meant by both of them and how exactly I was going to give them.**

**Oh Kenny, you silly goo~! Don't you know that teenagers in love are fragile?**


	11. Before the storm

**Author's Note: Mkay, so here it is, the new chapter. There is no Kyman or even Cartman in this chapter, so if you came here just for that, then.. I don't know, you can just skip, I guess?**

**Thank you for all the lovely positive reviews, faves and even follows. Seeing them keeps me writing. If it weren't for you guys, all this would have ended up stuck in my head for eternity, so thank you. : )**

**Go on, enjoy reading what I have for you next~!**

* * *

_"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." _  
_― Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol_

* * *

I'm anxious and upset, jittery even, but instead of skipping class or going to the counselor, I go to the fift period. It's the PE lesson and I already regret this decision, but it's too late to leave now, since the teacher is already present. Ah, this is going to be an horrible experience, isn't it? Just as I finished thinking that, I hear the the teacher mention 'Dodgeball' and I gulp, knowing I won't leave without atleast a few bruises, if not permanent scars.

Just as I had predicted, half through the lesson, I am excused to the nurse's office. I have a bloody nose and the world is spinning. Right before I'm about to leave, I hear something about a buddy to go with me. Completely against the idea, I immediately voice it out, but my pleas go unheard and soon enough, there is a guy standing before me, a guy I know. It's Butters, the blond and airheaded boy from my childhood, who used to get blaimed for everything and was almost always grounded. Even he is taller then me, but not by much. Actually, we are almost the same height. That is something I'm grateful for, since all the other boys my age, seem to be a lot taller then me, leaving me in the shadows. His hair isn't actually blond anymore, it's brown. I wonder why he dyed it, I also wonder if he got grounded for doing it. Knowing his parents, he probably did. Other then that there doesn't seem to be much different about his apperance, apart from the obvious.

He gives me a bright smile and I feel at ease now, knowing that my companion will be someone friendly. I wonder how's he been doing, but I don't ask him, knowing that even if he is a nice guy, he does tend to follow others. Perhaps I should be more cautious around him.

On our way to the nurse's office, Butters tries to start a conversation with me, "It sure has been long, huh," he says. He scratches the back of his head as he says that, averting his gaze. I don't mind his behaviour that much, but it does make me slightly sad.

"Yeah..." I mutter under my breath and I'm not even sure if he catched that, since he didn't say anything else on the way.

In the nurse's office, I'm slightly startled by seeing Nurse Gollum again, the sight of the unborn fetus stuck to her head still creeps me out. I mean, how am I supposed to just _not_ stare at that? I know it's rude, but I can't stop, it's just so bizzare. I foggly remember her giving a speech of sorts about how she didn't mind being stared at, so maybe she won't mind after all. If I remember correctly, then she's a pretty cool lady actually, if you look past the fetus stuck to her head, that is.

"Well, hello there, fancy seeing you again, Broflovski," she says, with a kind smile. I nod, before taking a seat.

She gave me some ice for my nose and some pills for my headache, in a few minutes I was allowed out again. Nurse Gollum said I could sit out the whole PE class, which I was intending to do, I just didn't want to stay at the nurse's office the whole time. Once out, I see that Butter's still waiting and I facepalm, realising I had forgotten to tell him that he could leave. He is leaning against the wall and once I close the door, he looks over at me.

He smiles and asks, "So, is eveything okay?" He seems rather nervous talking to me and it makes me frown, since he is forcing himself to talk to me.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Oh, that's great to hear..."

There is silence after that, as we just stand and stare, before Butter pushes himself away from the wall, turns around and says, "We should head back now." I figured it didn't matter if I told him I didn't need to go back to class or not and just followed slowly behind him. The locker room _is_ in the same direction.

Besides that bright smile he gave me at the start, he looks kind of down. It's my first time seeing him since moving back and noone has talked about him either, so it's not like I know anything. Maybe it is just me. He doesn't want to get too buddy-buddy with me because I'm the new kid and surely there are some rumours about me being a fag, too, if not more. I don't want to believe that's the reason, but there's nothing or noone proving me otherwise.

Once we reached the gym and explaining that I can't continue, I go to the locker room to change. I was still wearing the oversized and sweaty gym clothes afterall. While changing clothes, I hear the door open, but I ignore it and pull the shirt over my head. The shirt over my head, I grab for the clean one and am about to put that on, when there is suddenly hands around my waist.

I spin around in the span of a second and find myself face to face with... Clyde?

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KENNY

* * *

I've already started my search for potential allies, but so far, it's been fruitless. I've asked around about what people think about Kyle and what I've gotten thus far is, '_Nerd_', '_Weirdo_' and '_Faggot_'. Not looking good, not at all. So, now I'm thinking, perhaps I'm looking for people in the wrong places? That could be it. I mean, usually, allies are found in the most unlikely places, so what I should do is-

Go to the girls. Now, I know it's not the best plan, but I figure it might better, then looking around aimlessly. Also, far as I know, girls are not as against '_fags_' as boys are. Actually, I've even heard some interesting things, that point towards the fact, that some like it even and some are facinated by it, if not obsessed with it. I think they even have a word for it, don't remember what it was exactly, but it doesn't really matter to begin with. All I need, is to tell them that Kyle, who let's pretend is a fag, like most of the school thinks he is, is in need of help. What kind of help? Well, I think it should be obvious, but in case it isn't, then the plan is, get Cartman and Kyle together. I'm not completely certain they feel the same towards eachother, but it's worth a shot and besides, if it isn't mutual, then I can just fix their friendship or whatever they had this far, before I meddled in it.

Now then, how to get to the girls. That should be easy enough. I have lots of contacts, been to plenty places with plenty people. It always helps to be social in one way or another. You'd think it would be wise to go straight to the big girls, like Bebe or Red, but I know it's dangerous to go for them, as it could backfire easily. I should contact someone in the middle, who has authority, but isn't too up there. I have just the gal in mind. The girl who used to be big, but fell. Ah, she's just perfect. I find myself laughing outloud and end up gaining a few stares. Ah, oops.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

I'm all alone in a locker room, being cornered by a big jock and I am scared. Why is he here, to beat me up? How did he get out of class? He doesn't seem hurt or anything. His hands are still wrapped around my hips and I try to get out of his hold, but he is too strong. I look up and at his face, to his eyes. They are half-lidded and his pupils are dilated. They look dark and he looks like he is about to eat me alive, but yet I can't look away. They are oddly magnetic. He is going to beat me up, isn't he? I force my eyes to close, waiting for the fist that should come soon enough, but it doesn't and when I open my eyes, he is still there, his stare even more intense.

'_What is going on? Why is he here? Why can't I look away?_' I think, staring into his brown hooded-eyes, that seem to get more and more enticing every passing moment. It's warm, he is so close. Wait, I think he is getting closer. I have no idea what is going on. He is going to beat me up now, right?

I'm startled out of my daze, when the door is opened in such a force, it bangs against the wall. Suddenly it's cold again and I realise, I'm not cornered anymore. I hear Clyde curse under his breath and look as he walks away, back into he gym. Right there, at the door, is Butters. I think he said something to Clyde when he passed him, but I didn't hear what. The other didn't seem to be pleased by what he was told though. Once Clyde is gone, Butters comes over to me and places a hand on my shoulder, looking concerned.

"You alright, buddy?" he asks me and I slowly nod my head, not trusting myself to speak, my throat suddenly so dry. He sighs in relief and takes back his hand, taking a step away from me, giving me some space.

"Phew. I thought it was strange Clyde was away so long, even though he said he was just going to drink some water and then I remember you also went here, so I just..." he rants.

"Thanks."

He looks midly surprised when I thank him, but then smiles and chuckles, before asking me, "You feeling better?"

"Yeah," I answer him and he is the one to nod this time, a small smile still present on his lips. He doesn't seem so down anymore, that's good.

The next period was literature and then history, lessons I don't have any trouble in. They passed pretty quickly and soon I find myself on my way home. The way home is long, but it's durable. I'd walk it in the morning, too, if I was a morning person, that is. It's strange. My dad, mom and even Ike, they are all morning people, but I always find myself looking and acting like a zombie when I'm awakened. Guess I am more different from then then I thought I was, but then again, nobody is completely like their parents, even if they seem to be from the outside.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KENNY

* * *

I look at the familiar figure approaching me and lean away from the wall. She had agreed to help, like I had predicted and told me to meet her behind the school when classes are over. So here I am and here she comes. I'm glad she agreed, because she was honestly the only one that I imagine would help me, perhaps because of her relationship with Stan. Speaking of Stan, haven't talked to him for awhile. Besides the little chit-chat here and there of course when we sit together at lunch or sometimes in the classroom before the bell rings. He seems to be getting even more distant from me then he already was, from everyone actually. I think they've noticed, but noone is brave enough to mention it. I guess they are just smart enough to not do that. Stan _is _pretty high up there. Say or do something he dislikes, may it even be a small joke, your name is scratched off and you're thrown to the side.

When she's walked over to me, she hands me a folder. It's pink, some stickers and glitter on it, pretty cute. I look up at her and she just gestures towars the folder in my hands. Shrugging, I open it and look at the first page. I find myself at awe, seeing how much she has prepared, in such short notice. Unless...

"Since when?" I ask her, closing the folder and looking up at her again.

"Thursday. Last thursday."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

There is silence after that and I open the folder, to skim through it. There are even page numbers and the last one is 39th. All pages are filled from top to bottom with information about Kyle, his family, people around him, all the rumours about him. She has collected it all and written it down. It's like a whole book, a whole book about Kyle and how to help him. I feel like such a shitty friend, seeing all this. While she was doing all this research, I was avoiding Kyle, even badmouthing him and yet, he accepted me with open-arms.

Even Cartman was there for him. I saw them at the bus stop, I saw them talking to eachtoher during class. He even punched me and I now know, it was because of Kyle that he do that, not for his personal revenge. Even Cartaman, of all people, was a better friend than me.

Closing the folder, I look back at Wendy and open my mouth, "Where do?" is what I ask. She seemed to be in thought, before I spoke up, but when she heard my question, she instantly gave her full attention to me.

"To my house, it's not safe anywhere else. You never know when someone is around who could overhear us." she says, starting to walk without waiting on me and continues while doing so, "I've also looked up a few people who could help us and not only with Kyle, with the whole school system. To be honest, I first started with Kyle in mind, but now, I think we can go further then that."

Feeling left behind and not only because she is walking so fast, I ask, "What do you mean?"

She doesn't waste anytime and starts explaining right away, "As you already are aware, the school system, the way it's run by students is obviously wrong. Not only are some stepped on and made into servant, in other words, slaves- there are those who are considered leaders, above everyone else. They do what they want and nobody cares, not even teachers." After taking a turn and waiting for me to catch up, before starting her fast pace again, she continues, "I've been thinking of it for a long time, but there is something we can use for our advantage, a piece of information so fatal, that it could lead us to victory on it's own, if we are lucky."

I'm quite literally blown away in the dust, as she keeps on talking. This is the girl from my childhood, feared by many, who was at the top herself,for quite a long time. Until she fell. Though, half the school thinks she did it on purpose and so do I. Hearing her speak of the school, about how wrong it is, makes me believe she didn't want to be apart of it. No, I'm sure of it, it's a fact.

It's not long until we reach her house. She tells me right away that her parents aren't home, so don't have to explain anything, like why I am over at her house. We go upstairs and into her room, where she gestures for me to take a seat on her bed, as she herself goes over to her laptop.

The air feels tense and I can feel it, the storm that is about to come. Knowing Wendy, this is going to turn out big. Now I'm just wondering what that piece of information she has, that she says might prove fatal. I guess I'll have to wait to find out.

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KYLE

* * *

I sigh, laying on my bed and looking at the ceiling. I have no idea what is going on anymore. Everything is so confusing, so tiring and complicated. Maybe I'm growing up or something? If this is what growing up is like, I wish I could skip it. Unless, that is, my whole life will be likes this. Groaning, I close my eyes, tired of staring at the boring bland ceiling. I'm tired, so tired.

I am awoken by my phone, beeping on the desk. Wait, when did I fall asleep? Whatever, doesn't matter. I sit up and take my phone from atop the desk and into my hands, unlock the screen and then see that I have another message, from Kenny. He hasn't messaged me for a while, so I'm actually glad to see that he finally decided to reply back.

Opening it, I read:

**Monday, 6:02pm from Kenny:**  
**Hey, hope you have ur phone with u. Anyway, in a hurry, so here's the deal.**  
**2morrow, after classes, behind the school. Cya then.**

Furrowing my brows, I place my phone back on my desk and think for a moment. Why would he say that he'd see me then, is he not taking the bus tomorrow? I'm not sure what's going on, but it seems serious. I truly hope he isn't in some kind of trouble. He did say he was in a hurry. Why?

Not getting anywhere with my half-assed thinking, I give up and head for the door instead. I haven't eaten anything since I got home and my stomach feels like it could collapse at any moment. I don't think I'd get anywhere with my thinking anyway, since I'm so hungry and sleepy, having just woken up from my nap. Well, I think Kenny will explain it to me tomorrow anyway, seeing as he told me to meet him and all. I just wonder, why he would want to meet me behind the school of all places?

* * *

POV CHANGE TO ~ KENNY

* * *

After sitting send, I pocket my phone and look up from it and at the door instead. Here goes. I knock and then take a few steps back. Not long after, I hear footsteps and the door opens, revealing the person I was looking for. Not sure if appearing on people's doorsteps, uninvited, is the best of ideas, but it was Wendy who thought of it and not me. I'll just go with it for now.

"Hey, B!" I greet the formerly blond, but now brown-headed boy in front of me. He seems a little skeptical and suspicious of why I would be here, at his house, of all places, but he keeps it to himself. He is so easy to read, it's kind of sad.

He seems to consider something for a moment, before asking, "What do you want?"

I am slightly taken aback by his tone, but I recover quickly, placing my trademark smirk on my lips. Been long since I talked to this dwerp, but I guess he's grown some balls, since the last time we saw eachother. That's a good thing. There is still a long way for him to go though, but I guess it's a start.

Not wanting to waste any more time and trying to keep to the schedule Wendy has given me, I start my explanation. "Well, I- we have noticed that you've held some conversations with Kyle today," I start and I can already tell he has misunderstood why I've come here, so I quickly add, "And we'd like you to join us in helping him in his situation." It took the boy a moment to register what I've said, after which he slightly softened his look, but still noticably tense in my presence.

When he doesn't say anything, I take it as a sign for me to go on, so I do, "So, knowing that you aren't against Kyle, with him being fag or not, we want you to join us." He still looks as if he was on guard and not sure what to think exactly, so I figured I'd talk some more. "So, Butters-" I start, but end up being cut there, by the man himself.

"-Leo," he corrects me, but then not having anthing else to say, gestures for me to go on.

I clear my throat, before trying again."So, _Leo,_" I say, putting emphasis on his name, he nods and I continue, "we, being also aware that you hate the way the school is right now, need your assistance in helping us change it for the better." That seemed to ring some bells in his head, as he visibly relaxes infront of me.

"What to you say?" I finally ask him and he agrees.

Alright, now we have three: Wendy, Butter- Leo and me. Only about... I take out the list from my pocket and check. Only about 30 houses to go. Wonderful. I hear the door close, as I turn around to take my leave and I can't help, but sigh, thinking of how long this is going to take and how many times I have to say those lines over and over again to different people, knowing that about half are not even going to agree to this. This is going to be one heck of an afternoon.

* * *

**Oh would you look at that, this story actually has some kind of a plot. What a surprise! **

**If you have some character in mind, that you want a place i nthis story, just let me know. I'll try my best to throw them in there, somewhere... Ships are still about to come, don't worry. Just have to round up the characters first, so suggestions for that are welcome as well. **


End file.
